


I'll Set You Free, Fall With Me

by shanksmuseum



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angel Blaine, Happy Ending, M/M, Sick Burt, Soulmates, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 05:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanksmuseum/pseuds/shanksmuseum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”Blaine is special. He’s the kind of person, of soul, you only meet once in your lifetime, if you’re lucky. But so are you. And the both of you… You found each other and don’t you forget that. I know you’re lost right now, in all this, and I’m so sorry I can’t tell you everything you want to know, but just… trust Blaine, have faith in the two of you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy.

The first time they met was on Kurt’s 19th birthday, during the summer after his senior year.

It was 3.30am when he got a call from Carol telling him that his father had been admitted to the hospital after another heart-attack.

He doesn’t remember much because it was his birthday party and everyone had been drinking. All he recalls was collapsing, Mike managing to catch him before he fell and Finn being the only person sober enough to drive him to the hospital.

He didn’t cry while they drove or when he got there or when they wouldn’t let him see his father. For two hours he sat there, knees clutched to his chest and eyes dry.

No one would tell them anything and Kurt wanted to feel angry or pissed or anything but all he felt was scared. It had been hard enough the first time around but now it all seemed so much worse.

Yet he didn’t cry as he waited, watching the hospital work around him, people leaving for the night or coming in for the day. But he didn’t actually see their faces or what they did the minute they weren’t in his transfixed line of sight.

He did have enough presence of mind to see what they were wearing, though. It took him forty minutes to figure out the color code for what the nurses and doctors wore per specialty.

During his time on that chair he witnessed two shift changes, one slap, four spills and one fall. All nurses or doctors alike coming in or leaving in various states of awareness, which is why he so easily noticed him.

He stood out immediately but only due to the fact that he wasn’t wearing obnoxiously colored scrubs but rather normal clothes. In fact, Kurt couldn’t help but notice, he looked quite attractive, for sure, but also… dashing.

Kurt snorted at the word, earning himself a jolting-awake Finn who rushed ridiculously quickly back to consciousness at the small noise. Kurt jumped in his chair at the sudden movement and then started laughing a little at how ridiculous they must have looked. 

This seemed to spur something in him as he suddenly found himself laughing harder and harder, ending up bent in half and wheezing, oblivious to the strange looks he was getting but he didn’t care as he caught a glimpse of Finn’s bright, albeit confused, grin.

Then it all came rushing back along with that night’s alcohol binge’s consequences. He was sober now but he hadn’t slept anything off or hydrated himself with anything other than coffee and it all came back in a rush.

Blanching, he got up shakily, half running to what he now knew was the bathroom. Three steps was all it took before the world started spinning but then he felt himself be held up, first on one side and then the other. 

He barely registered anything as he rapidly found himself bent over the toilet, heaving what felt like way more than one night’s events. He painfully remembered why he usually never drank. He would blame Santana for everything.

Once he had a moment to breathe he felt hands rubbing up and down his back but the touch was too gentle and careful to be Finn’s but then a new wave of what seemed to now only be air came up and he stopped paying attention.

Next thing he knew something that felt like a wet cloth was being pressed to his forehead and a hand that was without a doubt not Finn’s if the gorgeous ring on it was anything to go by, was handing him a glass of water. He raised his head enough to take it, not yet having the courage to take a sip.

With bleary eyes that couldn’t focus on anything he pushed back from the toilet only to find himself against something solid and… warm? Oh, and breathing.

He probably should have moved or said something but instead he let himself slump further into the warmth. He was sure he’d manage to blame this on Santana some way or another.

The light was annoyingly bright so he gave up on trying to open his eyes enough to see who he was stranger-danger’ing on. He knew himself well but when he was drunk, he had no idea how he worked. This was an either break or… sleep situation.

He felt the “bed” he was slumping against shift and then heard a soft click before he was leaned a little further. His sleepy brain took a moment to register that the light was now off and his human futon was leaning against the wall.

That was enough to let his eyes crack open, slowly but surely until he could see the darkened room. He let his head lull a little to the side until he could stare up at the person who was still pressing the damp fabric to his forehead.

He blinked against the light still shining through the bathroom door crack but soon adjusted enough to see.

“Dashing,” he mumbled, not realizing he had said it out loud and barely caring enough to think about taking it back. 

His vision slowly focused on the man’s face, other than the confused smile directed at Kurt, Kurt could see how absolutely stunning he truly was. Earlier he had barely had time to see anything other than the “normal” outfit (complete with dark green bowtie) but now he could see, rather up close, how gorgeous he was.

With this angle he could see his profile so clearly despite his mildly fuzzy overall vision. The lines of his nose and jaw and lips… All without flaw and stupidly symmetric. Like a statue, representing the epitome of what a man to swoon over should look like.

“Hi?” 

Oh, Kurt frowned, the statue was talking. 

Kurt was perfectly content ignoring normalcy and politeness in favor of continuing to study his face. The more he looked, well, stared the more his features seemed to… speak to him, other than literally. 

Kurt felt warmth rush through him like an electric current. He didn’t understand it but wasn’t in any state of mind to question why he felt so right in this man’s arms.

Instead, he sucked in a deep breath, put the glass, that had been tipping dangerously already, down and tried to spur his neurons back into actions, at least enough to answer without saying something stupid like “You’re too pretty”.

“Hi’mgay.”

Smooth.

His charitable-pillow let out a tiny quiet laugh before lowering the hand with the now-warm cloth. Kurt couldn’t help but notice that after putting it down, his hand came to rest on his waist.

Kurt didn’t know how it happened but in a moment of weakness he blinked heavily and once he opened his eyes again, they were staring at lips. He had shifted a little so even in the dark Kurt could see them perfectly. 

He was borderline analyzing them when he saw the twitch at the corner, just one corner. He was smirking. Kurt let his gaze slowly draw up his face to his eyes, noting one raised eyebrow, the left one, just like with his smirking mouth.

Symmetrical bastard.

“Excuse me?” 

He had said it out loud. But the man was smiling, if not a little confusedly. Kurt found himself smiling back, he couldn’t help it, it seemed. 

“I’m Blaine, by the way. And you are… ?”

Oh good, a question Kurt couldn’t mess up. No amount of fading alcohol could make him forget his name. Unless Santana had that as her mission.

“Santana, what? No! Kurt, my name is Ku… oh for the lov…”

He let his head fall forward, adamant on hiding his fumbling idiocy and if that ended up being against Blaine’s neck, then so be it.

Blaine was laughing softly, did he do everything softly?, and Kurt could feel it against him, vibrating through his chest and through his own body like a wave of something akin to comfort and… happiness. 

He noticed then that he was now fully facing Blaine, almost sitting between his legs. Despite his glowing embarrassment, it felt nice, secure. Even with the movement the warm hand was still settled on his waist. 

With laughter in his voice, Blaine asked with a small squeeze: “How about we get you cleaned up and in bed?”

It was Kurt’s turn to smirk at the double entendre. He didn’t really notice that normally he would have flinched or gotten defensive, thinking it was a hit at his sexuality, but for some reason, with Blaine, despite barely knowing him, he felt anything but uncomfortable.

He felt, in some weird way, free.

He would take some time to be confused about that later.

Blaine actually narrowed his eyes at him before clarifying. “I work here.”

Kurt took in a sharp breath through his nose because suddenly Blaine was closer. He had only meant to say that in a jokingly serious way, moving forward to add an effect, Kurt knew this, but now he was so close and Kurt’s head was spinning again.

But it had nothing to do with Santana and her underage-drinking enabling ways since his veins were now clear of any liquor. It wasn’t even out of disabling fatigue because Kurt had never felt more alive than he did with Blaine so close to him.

Their noses were almost touching and Kurt didn’t understand why he wanted the tiny contact but he did, he inched the slightest bit closer, letting the tip of their noses touch. Something shot through Kurt like a bullet, it almost felt like…life.

Before he could register or question it, Blaine was pulling away. He was actually getting up and Kurt was sure he saw something almost like panic in his eyes as he detached himself from Kurt and stood up.

Kurt was hit by a huge rush of cold, a wave affecting every cell in his body and he suddenly wanted to curl in on himself because it was like a blanket, a filter, had been removed, leaving him strangely vulnerable. 

His tiredness and fear and sorrow was hitting him full on again leaving him gasping with surprise at the intensity. His eyes were stinging and he wasn’t getting enough air.

Before he could start full-on panicking Blaine was back, kneeling in front of him and the moment his hands touched Kurt’s shoulders Kurt broke, falling forward and losing control over himself as a choked sob escaped him.

It barely took a second before he was fully wrapped up in Blaine’s arms where he cried harder than his body could handle on his own, but Blaine was keeping him still and enveloping him until he could breathe again.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, yet Kurt wanted it to last longer and he fought with himself as he felt his eyes start to drop.

The last thing Kurt registered was a warm hand on his cheek in the middle of which he felt a slow and cold burn that seemed to seep into his blood. Distantly he realized that it was surely the ring.

The arms around him tightened slightly and Kurt’s final thought as he finally drifted into a deep sleep was feeling as if Blaine was keeping him together.

 

~-~-~

 

The first thing Kurt saw when he slipped back into reality was Finn’s scrunched up face. The one he makes when he’s trying to concentrate. The one that makes him look like he’s about to burst a vein with the sheer strength of his intelligence.

So the first thing Kurt did was giggle which turned into a full blown laugh at Finn’s startled features.

“You’re awake! Did I do that? Did I wake you?”

“I… Wait, Finn, what?”

“With my mind, did you hear my voice? Telling you to wake up?”

Might as well humor him, Kurt thought.

“Yes, I think it was the pull of your voice that brought me back from the land of sleep.”

He was going for genuine, but sarcasm was simply second nature. 

But Finn was now smiling so hugely and proudly, so Kurt let it slide as he felt his own face break out in a fond smile. He shook his head a little and looked down.

That’s when his surroundings finally made themselves known to his sleep-numbed brain.

He was in something much more comfortable than a standard hospital bed, wearing… not scrubs nor a hospital gown, but actual pajamas. They were soft and seemed to fit him perfectly.

Sensing his mild distress, Finn spoke up. “Um that guy, Melaine? Baine? Or something? Anyway, he, um, carried you out of the bathroom and of course I ran after him because, ya know, what is he doing taking my brother away.”

Finn let out a nervous giggle at which Kurt stifled a laugh while he continued.

“So he, um, like brought you to… Well, he brought you here. The doctor’s lounge or something. He told me this is where the docs come and sleep it off. He left for a bit and came back with coffee and some Pj’s… For you.”

Kurt’s jaw tightened as he saw a blush bloom on Finn’s suddenly sheepish looking face. Oh no…

“I know we only met the dude today, but he seemed sweet and I mean, you guys were in that bathroom for like an hour so I just assumed he was trustworthy so I left and when I returned you were all tucked in and your clothes were neatly folded and I knew you’d be happy about that so yeah.” Finn trailed off lamely, scratching the back of his neck.

“Finn? Wha…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“Well, I let a stranger-dude take care of you and, like, change you.”

Kurt let out a breath. Relief flooding through him as he realized that Finn’s awkward little display was only because of some weird brotherly guilt.

“Finn, it’s fine. He works here so what’s the problem?”

“I… I don’t know…?”

Finn looked suddenly so confused, Kurt couldn’t help but find it adorable, until…

“He just seemed very attached to you. And that’s cool and all, if he likes you likes you but, you’re my brother, I don’t know if I’m cool with him being all over you when you just met. I have yet to assus? Acasse…?”

“Assess?”

“Yeah, I haven’t assessed his ok’ness yet.”

“Finn. Why do yo…”

“I’m a damn fine big brother.”

“You’re younger than me.”

“That’s not important. I just…”

“You’re just looking out for me.”

“Yeah.”

Finn’s trademark lopsided grin was back and Kurt couldn’t help but think he was glad to see it.  
Since they had gotten the call at the party he’d seemed about six levels below happy.

Kurt knew he himself probably didn’t look much better, but Finn was usually a ball of sunshine and he’d missed his energy even if it had only been a few hours. 

Finally, Kurt sucked in a short breath before asking:

“How’s dad?”

Seeing Finn’s smile fall and his whole body deflate stabbed at Kurt’s heart but he had been putting off the question for too long.

“He.. um…” Kurt shut his eyes tightly, trying in vain to hope for the best. “He hasn’t woken up yet.”

Kurt felt his whole body clench around that empty, hollow feeling he had had only once before, during the first heart-attack. The fear, like a chasm in his heart and mind.

With a soft voice, Finn continued, “We got to go in and see him a few hours ago. He looks, better… than last time.” The small sliver of hope lining Finn’s words make Kurt open his eyes.

During the first heart-attack Finn had looked so utterly devastated and his sorrow had almost equaled Kurt which had seemed a little odd considering he had just recently gotten to know Burt.

But this time, when Kurt looked at Finn he didn’t see that overwhelming desperation that he had noticed the first time and for some reason that made his heart soar with a hope he didn’t think he would find, much less like this.

So, against his better judgement Kurt let himself believe and took that mental step forward of deciding it would all be alright. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders, all because of one Finn Hudson-Hummel.

The somewhat intensely emotional moment passed and once Kurt had regained all his senses he thought to ask his second most burning question.

“Finn, do you know where Blaine is?”

“Rlaine? Um, yeah he left, right after he uh…”

“He what, Finn?”

“Hekissedyourcheekanditwasreallyintenseandakwardforme.”

“Wh..what?”

“He kissed your cheek, all intense like and it would have been cute or something had I not been standing there like a freaking douchetree.”

“Douchetree?” Kurt inquired after clearing his throat, feeling his cheeks and neck warm up. 

“Puck came up with it.”

“It suits.”

“Tha… Hey!”

Kurt laughed and, soon after, Finn joined in. Something about the gravity of the situation led them to their most hysterical moments whether it had been with tears or with laughter, from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other.

“Hey, Kurt?”

“Yeah, Finn.”

“Do you like him?”

“Who?”

Kurt knew exactly who his brother was referring to but playing dumb seemed like the safest way to go.

“The Jlaine dude.”

“How are you coming up with these?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Yeah, Finn, I think I might like him. Blaine. I might like Blaine.”

“Hey, Kurt?”

“Yes. Finn?”

“I think he likes you, too.”

Kurt looked over at the person whom he now considered family. He didn’t want to get all teary eyed but he couldn’t stop the huge smile from taking over his face at Finn’s little admission.

For the content of his words but also the fact that he was saying them. Without any discomfort or weirdness. Kurt couldn’t help but feel like this way a huge step forward.

“Thanks, Finn.”

 

~-~-~

 

It was only three hours later, after Finn had gone home and the coffee was long gone that Blaine came back. Kurt immediately noticed that he still wasn’t wearing scrubs or any type of doctor’s coat.

Kurt had so many questions and everything he was going to say had been structured and planned out in his head but the second Blaine was actually there, nothing mattered.

Blaine had an effect on him that he had never experienced before but he had seen enough movies and read enough books to know that the things he was going through were miles ahead what had been described. 

Even in his own head he couldn’t find a proper way to explain it or even understand but Blaine had taken control over his heart and Kurt probably should have been a little worried at how easily his thoughts and coherency melted away.

A thought tickled at the back of his mind that he would be a fantastic rom-com movie.

While his mind ran wild with everything at once, Blaine had moved closer and was now sitting on the edge of the bed. His hand was resting gingerly on the thick quilt and Kurt wanted nothing more than to reach out and take it in his own.

But Blaine looked a little anxious and Kurt didn’t want to push his luck in any way.

“So. Finn tells me you carried me. Am I even allowed to stay in here?”

Suddenly Kurt was realizing that he was maybe taking up a bed that was needed somewhere else. What if Blaine came to tell him he had to leave? What if he had this all wrong and…

It was only when Blaine raised his hands and brought them near Kurt’s that he became aware of his nervous fidgeting, but before he could think to stop, Blaine had taken his hand.

It wasn’t the one with the ring but the effect was just as intense. It was like coils of actual pure joy were shooting through him from that point of contact.

Kurt ignored how weird that sounded in favor of enjoying the warmth and comfort he couldn’t help but feel when Blaine was there. Almost like a peaceful freedom.

He finally raised his gaze from their joined hands to Blaine’s face. He was smiling, if not a little cautiously. Kurt bit his lip a little before interlacing their fingers more securely.

“Trust me, you’re allowed to be here. In fact, I’ve made arrangements for your family, these beds are far better and I’ve taken the liberty of putting two in your father’s room for Finn and Carol. We will roll yours in as well when you’re ready, if you wish.”

Kurt breathed in before letting the words on his mind tumble out:

“How are you so nice?”

Blaine laughed a little, eyes crinkling ever so slightly before he squeezed his hold on Kurt’s fingers, “I suppose it’s my job.”

Kurt frowned, “Isn’t this going a little above and beyond doctor duties? Wait, are you a doctor? I don’t even know what your job is, I mean you’re wearing normal clothes so I can’t assum…”

“Hey, hey! It’s fine, you can ask. No, I’m not a doctor or a nurse, I am sort of… outside help. I come in to help patients. Mentally and religiously, to put it simply.”

Kurt frowned, “So you’re a preacher slash shrink?”

Blaine laughed again, but it wasn’t mocking or forced, just… magical, Kurt couldn’t help but think.

“Not really, I just have a certain talent with talking to people who, sometimes, are quite close to death. I can be a shoulder to lean on or a kind ear.” He elaborated. 

“Aren’t you… a bit young to be the secret-keeper of a hospital?”

Blaine let out a small laugh, “Secret-keeper, I like it!” 

Kurt frowned slightly, he had hoped to sneakily get more information on Blaine, namely his age.

“Kurt, if you want to know how old I am, you’re allowed to just ask.”

A small blush made itself known through tendrils of embarrassed heat high on his cheeks.

“Blaine, may I ask you a question?”

Blaine leaned forward with joking fascinated interest, placing his chin on the first of his free hand.

“Yes, Kurt, you may.”

“How old are you?”

Blaine’s mock serious face melted away in an almost manic grin.

“And why, pray tell, would you like to know?”

Kurt narrowed his eyes, pushing a little at Blaine’s shoulder in huffed annoyance. 

“Stop doing that! Stop making me dance!” Kurt protested with a small laugh as Blaine caught his second hand and brought it to his lips.

“I would love to dance with you.”

Blaine was staring right at him as he placed a kiss to Kurt’s knuckles. 

Kurt managed to suppress a shiver but his voice still came out blatantly breathy,

“I meant in the “around the bush” kind of way.”

“Fine, fine! I’m 19, if you must know.”

“Good… that’s good.”

Kurt was blushing again and his whole body felt overly warm, all except from one cold spot in the hand Blaine had just kissed that he was now holding.

It was the same, yet slightly subdued, feeling he had felt on his cheek before falling asleep.  
He thought nothing of it as Blaine continued speaking.

“So, Mister Hummel, I see you have finished all your coffee so I suggest four things, four options, if you will. Option A) I put you on my shoulder and bring you down to the canteen for some more,” he itemized in a serious tone, “Option B) I find a wheelbarrow and take you there in it, Option C) I actually use said wheelbarrow to bring the coffee to you or Option D) I hire ponies to take us both down there.”

Kurt was trying very hard to keep his laughter in but the look on Blaine’s face was breaking his resolve at an alarming rate.

“How about Option E: we walk down there together.”

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment. “Yes, yes, that could work.”

And finally Kurt broke, letting out a huge laugh that ended in a giggle fit causing his whole body and the bed to shake as he leaned forward letting his face fall in the covers to try and muffle his laughter.

His face was buried right above all four of their clasped hands and he felt a jolt of harsh cold sear its way through his body as his chin came into contact with the ring. 

He didn’t think anything of it as he sat back up and his laughter finally ceased. Blaine’s eyes were shining and he looked so utterly happy, like hearing Kurt’s laugh had made his day.

With a huge smile Kurt shook their linked hands a little before lifting them up enough to slip his legs out from underneath the covers.

“To coffee?”

Blaine nodded once with intent. “To coffee!”

Kurt snorted a little as he fully extracted himself from the warmth of the bed and stood up with the help of Blaine’s steady hands in his, but when his bare feet hit the cold floor he didn’t feel the cool tiles, his body temperature didn’t change in the least.

Chalking it up to heated floors, he picked up the jacket he had been wearing, but before he could slip it on Blaine was handing him a dark blue robe. 

“Here, it will keep you warm.” Blaine explained. Holding it out expectantly. 

Kurt put down his own jacket and let himself be led into the robe.

For a moment he wondered if any type of extra layer would be necessary since the temperature was perfect but once Blaine’s hand was dropped so he could slide his arms through the held up robe, he suddenly felt the air drop and the warmth dissipate, leaving him shivering.

So he ended up being glad to have the robe around him.

His back was to Blaine once it was on so he jumped slightly when he felt arms come around him, his heart stuttered as he felt Blaine’s chin on his shoulder, close enough to whisper, “Do you mind?”

Kurt wouldn’t dare try speaking at that moment since the heart in his throat would surely get in the way of any words trying to reach the surface, so he simply nodded. 

Blaine tightened the dark blue material snugly around his waist before tying the knot at the front, all while staying pressed against Kurt’s back.

Kurt managed to thank him as he finished the task but didn’t move yet. Instead, Blaine actually wrapped his arms around Kurt and Kurt let his shoulders drop and his body relax, just like it had a few hours previous in this same position. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he seemed to do that a lot around Blaine, trying to regain his senses.

He felt so safe and actually freaking happy and not even guilt reached him given the situation.  
Clearing his throat, he whispered, “Thank you.”

Blaine tightened his arms a tiny fraction before responding, “You’re welcome. Are you alright?”

Kurt felt a mild panic when Blaine slowly lessened his hold on him and let his arms slip away but not fully let go.

“I’m fine. I… I will be fine.”

And then the arms were gone and the cold was back full force and Kurt hoped Blaine didn’t notice as he almost tipped over at the intensity.

Kurt coughed to cover up any noise of panic that may have slipped out as he adjusted to what he now knew would be the sensation he got whenever Blaine wasn’t touching him.

He really needed to reevaluate the plausibility of all this soon.

Until then, he turned around with a smile that only started out forced until he caught sight of Blaine’s own gentle smile and then it felt like everything was back to normal and his body was back to the way it should be.

Oh yes, the movies and books were a little far off on exactly what this all felt like.

“You ready to go? Your grande non-fat latte awaits.”

Kurt faltered. “You know my coffee order?”

“Yeah your brother told me,” he responded with a smile that was fit for a Sunday morning newspaper cartoon.

“Finn? Finn told you?”

“Yes, the boy can’t remember my name but he remembers that. You taught him well.”

“It took a great amount of time. And threats.” 

Blaine was laughing in earnest now and the sound was washing over Kurt like, his mind was tired since all he could think of was Skittles, washing over him like Skittles. 

Maybe he was spending too much time with Finn.

Soon enough they were headed towards the hospital’s cafeteria. Kurt was itching to reach out and take Blaine’s hand but he didn’t dare.

Blaine assured him that if there was any news about his father he would be alerted right away, Kurt couldn’t help thinking that seemed of little comfort, but the hand Blaine placed on his shoulder was all he needed to breathe properly again.

By the time they were seated down with two cups of coffee each, under Blaine’s insistence, it was already 10am. Blaine explained that this was that time of day between breakfast and lunch when no one was in the canteen. 

Kurt watched as Blaine interacted so seamlessly with the workers there, knowing them all by name and acting as a sort of calming energy passing from one person to the other, leaving them strangely serene considering their jobs.

It was fascinating the effect he had on people and Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if what he was feeling was only his or similar to everyone else Blaine came into contact with.

But he saw how they reacted once the contact was broken, they looked fine, there didn’t seem to be any temperature drops or harsh detachment feelings. 

Only him, then. 

They spent hours just talking about everything and nothing in particular. Blaine was proving to be the perfect distraction and he let Kurt ignore the fact that he was getting lost in their connections, blocking out the rest.

Soon enough it was 2pm and the lunch crowd was thinning out. 

Kurt and Blaine had barely even touched their first coffees. 

“Hey, Kurt? I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you alone for a bit” - Kurt tried to ignore the cold panic shooting through his veins - “I’ll be back later, but for now I have to do my rounds. You’re very distracting, Kurt Hummel, you almost made me forget my duties.”

Blaine was smiling gently at him, almost like this was as hard for him as it was for Kurt. It was a small grace, at least.

Kurt caught himself quickly, “Yes, of course, I’m so sorry, I was keeping you.” His voice went quiet, like it was dying in his throat at the prospect of Blaine getting up to go.

But Blaine stayed put and when Kurt looked up, confused, he saw Blaine staring at him intensely, eyebrows knitted together. Kurt kept his gaze locked on his, refusing to look away without understanding what the stare meant.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Blaine’s hand jerk backwards, almost like it had been inching towards Kurt’s and was pulled back at the last second. Kurt would have normally felt some hurt at the action but he thought that, perhaps, he knew how Blaine felt.

Abruptly it was like the air crackled, reality rushing back into their little world. In a second Blaine was standing up, grabbing his untouched coffee and moving away from the table mumbling something about “people coming to clean those up”.

And then Kurt was alone.

This time it did hurt. Physically as well. The room suddenly felt unbearably cold and his hands were shaking as he stared after Blaine.

Kurt caught his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to stay together which felt all at once so much more difficult.

He spent a good amount of time collecting and throwing away the trash on their table, including his own full coffee cup, suddenly freezing and stale. 

Everything about Blaine screamed safety but there was that underlying mystery that would normally scare away anyone else, and Kurt wasn’t ignoring that, just… moving past it. 

The more time he spent with Blaine the more questions he came up with and he felt like an idiot, not being able to voice them or make sense of them himself.

But he knew he wanted more. Whether it be friendship or any other variation, he wanted more. Understanding and logic would come later, he supposed, but until then he was in because no one had ever made him feel so alive and safe and happy.

The insanity of his decision barely touched him as he sat back down in the chair he had been occupying. All the sudden he was exhausted, like there was suddenly nothing tethering him to reality and the only thing he needed was sleep.

He let himself slump back further into the chair and despite how uncomfortable it was he found his eyes starting to shut and everything was leaving his control.

Far far away in the back of his mind he heard a voice saying “Someone go call Blaine, get him back here” but he couldn’t be sure.

He woke up what felt like seconds later and everything was moving but one thing he knew for sure was that Blaine was touching him because he felt warm. Almost hot, actually.

His feet weren’t touching the ground and for a moment he wondered if he was flying but then his foot hit what was probably a corner and everything snapped back into place.

“Sorry, sorry! Kurt, Kurt, stay with me!”

He was being carried by Blaine and they were moving fast. Everything around them was still a blur and other than Blaine’s presence he really had no idea what was going on.

Then he was being put down on what must have a been a stretcher and Blaine was disentangling himself, taking with him all comfort and warmth and Kurt reacted on instinct, grabbing onto Blaine’s hands before they let him go.

“No! No no no stay here! Stay with me! M-my hand, please, t-take my hand.”

So Blaine held on while people around him checked his vitals and eyes and mouth and everything that could be wrong.

Was all the fuss because he had fallen asleep at a chair?

Something like three nurses were tending to him, he heard one of them speak up down near his feet: “Blaine, sweetie, you’re going to need to let us do our job.”

But before Kurt could speak up or maybe kick her, Blaine’s voice reached him from somewhere out of his line of sight, “I’m good, thanks Lindsey, but I’m not going anywhere.” He reinforced his statement with a squeeze of Kurt’s hand.

Someone else was speaking. “The boy is fine, just exhausted and dehydrated. Blainey-boy, has he eaten anything since he got here?”

“I haven’t convinced him to, I got coffee in him, though. I will find a way to get him to eat, I will bribe him if I have to.” Blaine’s voice again.

“Good, right then, come on, Hero, take him away again. See you later, Nekrasov.” 

Kurt heard Blaine laugh a little before he was picked up again, Blaine’s arms sliding under his body before lifting him up and holding on tightly as they started walking.

Blaine was actually carrying him. For the third time in less than twelve hours. This really shouldn’t become a thing. 

Kurt let his head fall back with a groan and he heard Blaine snort above him.

“Are you mocking me?” Kurt jested, squirming in Blaine’s arms to make it more difficult for him.

Blaine laughed loudly as he held perfectly steady and kept going, only spurring Kurt on.

He started wiggling around trying to make him lose his balance, not really thinking about the consequences if he succeeded. 

Kurt smirked as Blaine finally started veering a little off course and his grip began to slip.

Really, he should have realized how silly he was being considering this was literally a “you go down I go down too” situation but the look of concentration on Blaine’s face was just too funny, the tip of his tongue sticking out at the corner of his still smiling mouth.

Their laughter resonated through the mostly empty corridor as Kurt continue to contort himself until finally they both fell in a heap on the floor.

Kurt doesn’t know how he did it but Blaine actually managed to cushion his fall even though they fell forward.

He landed with an “opfm” on top of Blaine. His legs at an awkward angle until he readjusted, only then realizing that meant he was straddling the still laughing man under him.

Kurt stopped laughing because Blaine was right there and he wanted so badly to lean down and kiss him but Blaine was still giggling until suddenly he wasn’t.

They were staring at each other, smiles still in place if not a little stilled. 

Blaine brought the hand that had been resting on his back up to Kurt’s face and time seemed to slow down like some cliché movie and Kurt would have taken the time to be embarrassed had his breathing not suddenly slowed to a dangerous speed.

There were only a few inches between their lips and Kurt was trying to close them inconspicuously. He was hoping Blaine would take the final step and lean up or use the hand on Kurt’s jaw to bring him down.

Anything other than this stand-still situation they were in because the “maybe” was having frustrating effects on Kurt.

Instead he was rewarded with a loud beep down near where his knee was pressed against Blaine’s hip.

In one swift movement Blaine had managed to flip them over and was scrambling to his feet, his hand detaching itself from Kurt’s cheek, leaving a burning cold line over his skin. The ring. 

He stood up clumsily and removed the phone/pager thing from his pocket to check it.

“I have to go, um, I have to, yeah… go.”

Kurt let his head fall back on the linoleum and he, once again, watched as Blaine walked away.

This time it wasn’t just a freezing rush but a rather painful one. Jumps of short-lived agony affecting his every cell. It lasted only a second but it was enough to have his body jolt up off the ground and leave him panting.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm down as his body adapted to Blaine’s absence. 

“Looks like someone got a case of Angel Fever.”

Kurt’s eyes burst open, his body quickly rolling over to locate the source of the noise but the hallway was empty.

 

~-~-~

 

It took him twenty minutes to get back to his bed and belongings, he hadn’t planned on going back there alone so he hadn’t fully registered how to get back.

The fact that his mind was a mess didn’t help either along with his now noticeable hunger. For a second he wanted to go back to that nurse who had told Blaine to feed him and tattle as vengeance for leaving him. Again.

But instead he tried to calm his thoughts and get his emotions back in order as he walked through hallway after hallway. He was pretty sure he wasn’t even on the right floor anymore but soon enough he recognized enough to find his way.

He removed the robe and settled in the bed, trying to drown in quilts and pillows before his own mind got him but after a good hour of restless tossing and turning he gave up, sneaking out just one arm to get his phone.

It was 4pm. Which meant most of his friends would be awake and up by then. Maybe even on their way over to see how he was. Kurt groaned because being social was the last thing he wanted. 

But, at least, for once he had a good excuse to ignore it all so he shut off his phone without checking messages and burrowed further into his cocoon of sheets and covers.

Quite a bit of time passed, or so he assumed, but he still wasn’t falling asleep. He was getting frustrated because he should be tired, he should want to sleep forever but everything felt wrong and he hated the feeling.

No matter what position he got in or how many damn sheep he counted sleep wouldn’t grace him and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the thoughts fighting in his head.

At least if he was asleep he wouldn’t be thinking about how this was all a waste of time and how it was useless. He felt like a child getting angry at himself and nothing felt ok. 

He turned around almost violently, letting out a cry that quickly turned into a sob and that made it worse because he was crying and nothing he did would make it stop. He felt miserable, he was scared and he couldn’t find any peace long enough to sleep.

But then he heard footsteps. Even though he was turned towards the wall he knew it was Blaine as the pressure around his heart lessened and the warmth in his limbs and mind returned. 

He was still crying hysterically but it felt ok, freeing. 

The bed dipped and the covers lifted and then Blaine was there, pressed against his back and arms wrapped around him. But he needed more, in a slightly desperate rush he turned around and buried his whole body against Blaine.

Minutes passed as well as his tears. Blaine was gently scratching along his back which was oddly comforting all while whispering words that meant nothing to his ears but made him feel safe.

In the silence that followed he felt Blaine lean back a little, enough to tell him face to face,

“I brought nourishment, I made sure to find some ‘real food’ for you. I even have fresh fruit.”

And with that Blaine actually nuzzled his nose with an encouraging smile. Kurt tried to keep in his laugh, he really did, but now Blaine was shaking his body around, making the whole bed and Kurt move along with him.

Once he had stopped Kurt bit his lip and decided to ask,

“Why… why do you keep running off? I should be mad at you, you know.”

He didn’t dare look up as he fiddled with the hem of Blaine’s collar, noticing that the bowtie was now gone.

When he looked up Blaine looked so pained and guilty that Kurt froze. He didn’t want to let go of his mild resentment too quickly but Blaine looked so down that he almost started apologizing. 

But then Blaine was scrambling to take his hand and brought it to his face, not doing anything, just keeping it close. He finally spoke, the words tickling Kurt’s skin.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t want to leave you, I never want to leave you and I could blame it on the hospital but… but that’s a flimsy excuse at best,” he let out a short humorless laugh.

Kurt held his breath, waiting for him to continue.

“Kurt, I shouldn’t be getting… attached to patients…”

“But I’m not a pa…” Blaine shushed him, pressing a kiss to the hand still by his lips.

“I know you’re not, but you’re still considered one, by attachment. And I’m not allowed to… care, or rather, to care so much.”

Blaine finally looked up and Kurt felt his protests die in his throat, for now.

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

Kurt was trying to pass it off as a joke but it seemed to have failed as Blaine frowned and looked down, resting his forehead against Kurt’s hand.

“You have no idea.”

It took ten minutes before Kurt dared to speak again, he wanted to move forward but he was losing faith that they really could if what Blaine was saying was true.

“Do we… Does this mean I can’t see you?” His voice didn’t crack or waver but even to him it sounded heartbroken. 

Kurt closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing, fearing anything and everything.

“I have… the, um, I have the night off tonight, so until 6am tomorrow morning, I will ignore the rules.”

Kurt couldn’t help the stupid smile from taking over his face.

“If you think I will manage to stay up that long you have flipped your pancake.” 

“Flipped my pancake?” Blaine commented with a snort.

“Yes. Now feed me because my expressions are all starting to revolve around food.”

“Am I starting to look like food to you?” 

“Yes, you’re a delicious beef and cream stroganoff three course meal. So get to it before I bite you.”

Blaine threw his head back and laughed loudly and before thoughts of Skittles could form in Kurt’s brain he leaned up on his elbow, trying to sit up without his hand that was still in Blaine’s grip.

Blaine was now actually laughing into his hand and the warm puffs of air were making him dizzy, especially when Blaine looked up and very gently bit Kurt’s hand.

“I thought I was the hungry one?”

Blaine smirked. “All this talk of food was making me hungry. And you were starting to look like a… spicy mango crumble.”

“Does that even exist?” 

“Mmhmm, but you taste better.”

Kurt stared at him and it took about four full seconds before he was laughing, falling back into the pillows and dissolving into hysterical giggles.

Soon Blaine had joined in. Kurt noticed he never let go of his hand.

 

~-~-~

 

They spent hours after that just being with each other and even though there was a sort of clock on their time together, neither of them noticed as they set up a lovely picnic on the bed and listened to music on Blaine’s phone.

They talked about everything from philosophy to art and mythology to their favorite pen and eraser to an in depth discussion about the number 12. 

Kurt had never felt so free in how he was around others and how he spoke to people. 

With Blaine it all came so easily and despite a few awkward moments like when Kurt used his thumb to wipe pineapple smoothie off Blaine’s chin and let it linger over his lips or when Blaine tried to reach for his own phone as Kurt tried to go through his music (to tease and mock) and his hand landed very high on Kurt’s thigh, high enough that his fingertips brushed against the bare skin of his hip where his pyjama shirt had ridden up.

Around 11pm Blaine got a message that there was nothing new with Kurt’s father. 

At 1am Carol and Finn came him to kiss him goodnight. On his way out Finn gave Kurt the thumbs up and Blaine came ridiculously close to seeing but Kurt distracted him with a swift foot nudge where their legs were entwined.

At 2am Kurt started falling asleep and Blaine kept him awake by scratching designs and words into his palms and up his arms.

At 4am Blaine started drifting off and Kurt started singing obnoxiously loudly until Blaine named the song which led him to sing another and it went on like that until 5.30am when they both started slipping.

“Hey, Kurt?” Blaine whispered from barely two inches away.

“Yes, Brian?”

“…Ferry?”

“Yes, old man.”

“Hey! Roxy music is timeless!”

“If you say so, Robert.”

“…Downey, Mitchum or De Niro?”

“Nah, it just sounded like an old enough name for your mind’s generation.”

“Mean.”

Kurt laughed before finally opening his eyes,

“Yes, Blaine? What it is?”

“This was one of the best nights of my life.”

Kurt’s heart did things he could not describe as he tried to come up with a worthy answer.

Nothing would come, nothing fit or sounded right enough and his body felt light and dizzy and yet it was all so perfect.

“You take my breath away.”

The final thirty minutes passed in silence and when 6am rolled around Kurt found himself hating everything because this meant some sort of ending and despite his own promise to himself that he would be mature about it, his mind was falling apart.

But he kept quiet, sucking in his bottom lip to keep from yelling out how unfair Blaine and his rules were being.

He wanted to huff out his cheeks and pout but he kept still as he felt the slivers of cold reattach themselves to his body where Blaine’s contact was gone. 

The final wave of body-wracking cold fell on him the second Blaine’s hand slipped out of his. But he stayed still and was planning on playing his part until Blaine had left.

He felt numb as he watched Blaine slip his shoes back on and gather up what was left of their picnic to throw it in the trash.

His heart started racing, though, when Blaine had nothing else to do, there was no more stalling and Kurt wanted to jump out and grab onto Blaine and never let go but he wouldn’t do that, especially since he knew Blaine would probably let him.

Instead he closed his eyes and murmured against the pillow.

“You’re like a human emotional rollercoaster.”

He expected a sigh or a laugh or something but when he heard nothing he opened his eyes, panicked that maybe he had walked away without a word. 

But no, Blaine was kneeling next to the bed with his eyes closed and Kurt’s heart jolted at how broken he looked. In fact, he looked like Kurt felt and that almost made it worse.

Blaine cleared his throat and looked up, he had tears in his eyes but he looked strong and determined. 

“This isn’t goodbye, Kurt. No matter what, I feel like..like…”

“Like I could never say goodbye to you.” Kurt continued.

“I…I just can’t… I’m not allo…”

“Allowed to get attached, I know, but, Blaine, no offence, but I think it’s a little too late.”

Blaine let his head fall. 

“We’re many lightyears away from ‘too late’.” 

Blaine sounded so demoralized and Kurt wanted to stop; stop pushing, stop wanting and stop bargaining and this could be his “in”, his way of changing Blaine’s mind, but he couldn’t do that. To either of them.

If he had wanted to, he knew he could have swayed Blaine, but, with a slightly melodramatic sigh, he let it go.

“I still work here, you know. I’m still around, we will see each other all the time even if I’m not assigned to your father, I’m still here.”

Kurt smiled sadly. “Small graces.”

With that Kurt leaned forward from his sitting position, placing his forehead against Blaine’s, enjoying the rush of heat at the contact and only shortly dreading its impending departure.

Kurt swallowed and forced his voice to work again,

“I’m assuming asking for a kiss would be inappropriate?” 

He heard Blaine’s sharp intake of breath and Kurt couldn’t help but laugh a little at how almost panicked it sounded.

But he didn’t want to hear Blaine say “no” so he rushed to confirm,

“I know.”

And that’s all it took. They went quiet again until Blaine shifted, bringing his hand up to Kurt’s jaw, like he had done a few times in the last 24 hours, and got up slowly, placing a breathless kiss to his hairline and Kurt almost choked at the cold drag of Blaine’s ring as it lifted off his skin.

Kurt sputtered out, “I’m keeping my eyes closed.”

He didn’t know why he said that but Blaine, as always, seemed to understand. Right before detaching himself from Kurt he whispered against his skin,

“I’m keeping you close to my heart.”

And then the heat was gone and when Kurt did actually open his eyes some time later, the room was empty and dark.

 

~-~-~

 

The few days after that, Kurt spent his time being pissed. It was so much easier than moving on and at least it kept him busy.

He spent his days by his father’s bedside, just like last time, only now he had something to think about. Blaine. Well, his “dislike” of Blaine which, really, was the perfect distraction.

After a week or so the anger turned into sadness. He wanted to hate Blaine for making him fall so hard and not be there to catch him but he also knew how it was out of his control.

He knew he’d ignore all the rules to be… whatever they were, with Blaine, just like he knew that, for now, nothing could be done.

Despite everything, every morning, no matter where he slept or how much anger was left, there would always be a cup of coffee waiting for him nearby and even with his small grudge he would still smile and be grateful. 

 

~-~-~

 

He didn’t see Blaine in person again for nine days, every time it seemed they missed each other by a few minutes. But finding out he would be in contact with Blaine almost everyday wasn’t in any way a blessing.

Burt Hummel had officially been written under “coma patient” which meant Blaine would be assigned to him. And that, he was told, meant nothing good.

In the nine days that passed Kurt had gone back home twice and hadn’t slept anywhere but the hospital. Either in his father’s room or the doctor’s lounge. No matter what, he needed to be there for when Burt woke up because Burt would wake up. He had to.

But when he was told that Blaine Anderson would be “brought in” for his father what felt like his whole world collapsed.

Blaine had told him exactly what his job was. He came in when nothing else could really be done. He was the person who talked to the family and tried to assess what other “options” and actions could be taken.

Blaine was, for all intents and purposes, the final straw. The desperate measure.

The day he found out, he spent his time jerking his head up at every person that entered his father’s room. He never thought he’d be in a state of fear at the prospect of seeing the telltale head of hair.

In the 24 hours they had spent together he had seen Blaine’s hair go from flat-shiny helmet to cartoon-explosion. That night when they had practically slept in each other’s arms he had gotten the chance to run his fingers through it, he had gotten to play with the curls and fall in love with them.

But now, he hated them because he knew that the moment he saw them, well… it wouldn’t be Blaine the boy he cared for more than he should over so little time, it would be Blaine Anderson, the hospital’s last resort. 

Blaine showed up around 9pm that night, but it wasn’t Blaine, it was some professional with a mission. Kurt stared, mouth agape, at the polite and cold nod he received and then Blaine was off. 

He ignored Kurt, treated him like any other patient and Kurt could feel his heart being squeezed by some invisible restriction, the same feeling he got when Blaine left.

Even Finn looked confused at Blaine’s behavior, giving Kurt odd looks every few minutes while Blaine talked with Carol and Burt’s doctor.

Kurt wanted to shout and stomp his feet, there was a limit to how much he could stand and this was tethering on it. He could eventually be ok with not being anything with Blaine other than friends, but being ignored was more painful.

After about forty minutes he couldn’t handle it anymore. Blaine wasn’t looking at him and Finn was looking more wounded and confused by the second.

Kurt got up, he was surprised by how violently the action had seemed, the chair clattered back against the wall, everyone in the room turned towards him, shock etching over their features. 

Everyone except Blaine.

Sucking in a huge breath, Kurt grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door.

“Going for a walk, or something.” He threw over his shoulder and before anyone could say anything, he was out of the room and the door was closed.

The second he took a step away from the room his whole body jerked, causing him to stumble forward, head suddenly spinning dangerously as he lost control of his balance. He came close to collapsing as his knees gave out but someone caught him.

He almost expected it to be Blaine but when he looked up, reality sunk back in, like a flood of dread washing over the debris of his heart.

“Are you ok?”

Kurt pushed away from the… doctor? But before he could glance at the title on his badge his vision blurred and he slumped again, flashes of white jumping in and out of his eyesight as he fell forward.

Once again, he was held up, but this time it was more than one person. He flitted in and out of awareness and the next thing he knew two nurses and that doctor were guiding him over to a chair.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, trying to go for detached and cold so they would leave him alone, but his voice barely came out over a whisper and he winced at how broken it sounded. 

He closed his eyes, trying to take deep enough breaths to get everything in his mind working again. He didn’t know what this all meant, what it all was but he hated it. Hated feeling so weak and at the mercy of someone’s presence.

Kurt prided himself on his strength, on knowing how to rise above any attachment or dependency. Other than his father, he refused to let anyone affect him more than superficially. He loved his friends, but none of them would ever get the opportunity to cause him any damage.

But then there was Blaine. 

In a ridiculously short amount of time he had shot straight through any defenses and pretenses hitting Kurt straight where it could hurt.

Kurt didn’t like the cynic he was becoming, but until he got out of Ohio he had convinced himself he had no choice.

He wasn’t used to this, losing control, he wasn’t prepared, especially for the bad. Because this, the physical pain of separation, was bad. He was also quite positive it wasn’t normal either.

“I’m fine,” he repeated, more strength behind his words. 

Of course it was all nice finding his voice again but this was a hospital, and when you collapse they don’t take it lightly. He was brought food and drinks and was asked every possible question all the nurses could come up with.

He must have looked terrible for them to be so concerned. He did smile, though, when he saw the nurse who had ordered Blaine around the last time he’d… fallen asleep spontaneously. 

She looked him over with a look that could only be described as “Sassy momma bear”. She actually tutted at him before taking his wrist in her hand and leaning in to whisper very seriously, “You look like utter shit, Pushkin.”

After that he was told to “get his perfectly round behind to bed and rest the day away”. He was fed (awful hospital food; “Well we can’t all have a prince of hair bringing us three course meals, can we, Turgenev?”)

Despite everything, the nurse, Rosie, had made sure that that night he got into bed with a smile on his face. 

It stayed there until a shiver of warmth ran through him. Blaine.

“Hey.”

Kurt turned over, trying to see in the dark. Maybe seeing how far away Blaine was, to see if he could kick him.

But Blaine was still in the doorway of the doctor’s lounge, standing perfectly still. Kurt chose not to reply, simply waited, ignoring the tingles of heat in his fingertips.

“Rosie told me you… weren’t doing well. I wanted to… come see how you were.”

His voice was soft and Kurt wished he could hate or at least ignore the deep concern twining itself around each word.

Kurt wanted to dismiss him, to send him away, he wanted to use his bitch-defence and hurt Blaine with well-chosen words, but he couldn’t do that. And honestly, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to. 

“I’m alright, Blaine. Thank you for asking, you didn’t have to.”

After a silence, Kurt heard and felt Blaine come closer.

“Yes, yes I did. I need… I need to know you’re ok.”

The words stuttered against Kurt’s heart before finally settling deep in his veins.

“Blaine…”

But the shift in the air immediately halted Kurt’s words, he knew that it wasn’t the time. He paused, letting his eyes fall shut just for a second before starting again,

“So, tell me about Rosie.”

Blaine practically giggled; Kurt could feel the tension leaving him, even from a few feet away. They were almost back in their comfortable little bubble and Kurt was grateful for that.

“She’s… she’s something special.”

Kurt couldn’t stop the huge grin from spreading over his face at the adoration in Blaine’s words.

“How long have you been working near her?”

“Um… I’ve known her for a long time, but we’ve been working together for about year, now. She’s my favorite person in this hospital. I’m pretty sure she’s everyone’s favorite, even if they don’t know it.”

“And her thing with the… um…”

“The names?”

“Yeah.”

“Depending on how much she likes you, she will look for the perfect nickname for a long time. She called me every Shakespearean character in existence when I first got here. She still hasn’t settled on one…”

“What about me?”

“Well, we won’t find out the meanings before her nicknames until she settles on one. But there’s always a theme to her pool of choices…”

“Russian authors?”

“Seems like. Congratulations. I’m not sure, but I think this means she really likes you. She called me Malvolio when we first met.”

Kurt snorted.

“I think it’s the hair.”

Even in the dark, Kurt saw Blaine’s hand dart up to his hair defensively which only caused Kurt to laugh loudly.

Once he had settled back down, Kurt waited in silence, knowing what the change in the atmosphere meant. 

“Kurt, do you want me to tell you about what’s going on with your father?”

Kurt wanted to say no. He so desperately wanted to play the kid card and avoid it all, put in place the “out of sight out of the mind” approach. But he knew that not only would Blaine not let him do that, but neither would he himself fall into it.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he spoke up. “Yes, please.”

Blaine didn’t respond for a bit, only stepping closer and settling in the chair near the bed, giving Kurt a few more seconds to stress but not enough to panic.

“At the moment there is nothing the doctors can do. As they told you at the beginning, the complications of your father’s heart attack caused some pretty serious damage, enough to cause the necessity of putting him in an artificial coma.”

Both of them took a breath before Blaine continued,

“That being said, there are still… chances that he might push through, his body is healing and there is the possibility that he will fully recover…”

“But?”

Blaine’s hand shot onto the bed to grab Kurt’s. Apparently his voice sounded broken enough for Blaine to break his unspoken affection rules. 

None the less, Kurt gladly accepted the warmth of Blaine’s fingers around his own, it felt like the pressure of a gentle anchor, keeping him sane and secure.

“But, we’re going to be moving on to the second week, he’s been under long enough for… other options to be talked about. Not considered, but… talked about. Brought to the table.”

Kurt stayed quiet, waiting for Blaine to get it all out.

“Kurt, this doesn’t mean anything, really, it’s just hospital protocol.”

“Hospital protocol?!” Kurt snapped, jerking his hand out of Blaine’s grip, “Bringing you in as some kind of… official grim reaper for this place and you call this hospital protocol?”

And there it was. His limit.

“Kurt…”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t talk to me like my friend when you’re the one who so kindly told me nothing could happen between us. Keep your sympathy. When you’re talking about “pulling the plug” or whatever it is you call it, don’t bedside-manor me.”

Kurt was shaking but even he knew that it wasn’t from legitimate anger. It was fear. It was all fear. Deep down he hoped Blaine could understand and see that. Not let himself be pushed away.

“Kurt, you don…”

“Stop that! Stop freaking caring!”

He didn’t know what he was asking for or why it mattered because they were just words in a moment of panic, settling over his mind and gripping his throat.

He was trembling so violently his teeth clattered a few times and still he was trying to pull away, trying to resist the pull of the warmth and comfort he knew Blaine could bring. He wanted to yell, he wanted to send him away.

“Say something stupid,” Kurt whined, finding his voice again.

“…What?”

“Say… say something bad to make me h-hate you, to make me want you away from me. Say som-something stupid. Please.. just, help me let you go… help me stop lo…”

But Blaine was getting up and reaching for him. Kurt tried to ignore the thrill of the proximity and cradled his hands to his chest, trying to curve away from him.

“No! No, you’re not doing what I asked, this isn’t…”

Hands wrapped firmly around his own and held them out, he tried to fight Blaine off as he climbed in the bed, tried to shake him off.

“You can’t… you can’t just… Blaine.”

As his voice cracked the anger turned to tears and his resolve crumbled along with it, but he didn’t care because Blaine was finally holding him close.

After nine days apart, suddenly being so close to Blaine was almost overwhelming but he didn’t mind as his whole body shock in Blaine’s strong hold. Arms wrapped securely around him while he continued to tremble with fear and stress and tiredness. 

But the effect was quite quick, soon enough everything stilled again and he just let himself drift off while Blaine scratched those comforting patterns along his spine. 

He doesn’t remember falling asleep but he knows he did so feeling whole for the first time in over a week.

 

^^^^^^

 

The second Blaine closed the door, leaving Kurt to sleep, he knew what he would have to face and he would do so without regrets.

“Anderson.”

Blaine’s jaw clenched as he let go of the handle and turned around, coming to face his Brother. He knew the voice well, gravely yet smooth and always ringing with that cocky layer, only accentuated by the smirk that usually came with it.

But Smythe wasn’t smirking, he was furious, the fire in his eyes and the raise of his shoulders told Blaine everything he needed to know. 

He was in trouble.

“The Old Ones are extremely cross with you.”

Blaine winced at the name Sebastian always used for their superiors, knowing full well how Blaine hated it.

He didn’t understand how someone with such a high rank could still be so… venomous and childish despite his years.

Blaine may have no affection towards his Elders but he knew better than to disrespect them. Well… when he wasn’t breaking all the most important rules.

“What are you doing here, Smythe?”

Blaine shot back coldly, masking any signs of fear he didn’t want Sebastian to pick up on.

“I’m here picking up the pieces and getting you back in line.”

All traces of playfulness were gone and Sebastian looked vicious. His sneer turned into a look of disgust before he continued.

“The Higher Levels aren’t very happy with you, Anderson, sentimentally mingling with mortals. It’s despicable.”

Blaine felt panic flitter across his skin, leaving him cold.

Sebastian’s face contorted into one of horror. He had felt it.

“You’re… you’re feeling! Anderson, I knew you were weak but this is… this is… I don’t even have words!”

He was advancing, like a wild animal, ready to rip anything to shreds if they so much as looked at him wrong.

Blaine stayed quiet and still.

“My god, Brother, what have you become? I told the Old Ones that accepting you in our ranks would backfire, being half mortal and all.”

He spit out the word like a damned thing. 

When Blaine’s father had died before Blaine’s twelfth birthday, his mother had no choice but to give Blaine his wings. As an Angel, she couldn’t stay to take care of him so, for the first time in the history of the skies and the earths, a half Angel was awarded his wings before his death.

Many hated having him among their ranks, even if he was one of the Lowers, set on earth among humans. He may have wings like every other Angel, but his powers were few and far between. 

In the realm beneath the skies, every Angel’s strengths were weakened. Already as a Lower he wasn’t allotted many, leaving him close to mortal.

Which is why he looked like everyone else. Which is why, against Angel rules and abilities, he could feel. 

More than just pain, but actual human sentiments and emotions, he could do what no other Angel could ever do. Not that They would ever feel the desire to, for them feelings made species weak.

In their eyes, Blaine was more than just a burden and an exception, he was weak. He was “wrong” among the skies so he was put on earth where he had to build up from nothing and fight on his own.

For years he fought the system of the Angels, he hated their reluctance to have any empathy for the human race, he refused to sit idly by when he could help.

As a lower class Angel he didn’t have the power to heal mortals, so he found his own way of helping and in the process breaking the rules every Winged was supposed to follow.

Through the hospital he came into contacts with many, what some would call “desperate cases”, the ones that would not last long or for whom the hope was lost. He would help them find their way back.

With only his words and patience he helped bring souls back into their rightful state among the living. He talked terminal patients through paths that could, in some cases, help them beat the system.

He acted as an Angel, against the rules, to help “the lesser kind”.

The Elders vaguely knew what he was doing but they always turned a blind eyes, as the highest in the ranks of The Winged they left him certain freedoms, knowing full well he wouldn’t go as far as rebelling.

But the greatest betrayal that could be done that wasn’t in some metaphorical rule book, was falling for a human. Literally. It would count as interfering, just like healing a mortal, having one fall in love with an Angel and returning those feelings is the greatest rebellion an Angel can be a part of.

But it’s all talk until those feelings are acted upon. 

A kiss. 

A kiss would be all it would take for an Angel to get its wings revoked, effectively killing them.

It was an unspoken law that every Winged obeyed, most of them did so without any possibility of being faced with it, but those few who walked the Earths rarely felt it either. 

Because Angels weren’t supposed to “feel”.

In very rare cases, when a Winged stays a Lower for too long, they do start veering towards mortality, not in mind, but in soul, the humanity they once had before obtaining their wings grows which each passing decade on earth.

That’s when, a few times of the course of History, certain Angels learned to love, sending a ripple through the whole Winged system. Because despite all their rules and obligations, love is the one thing that can bring the Angels closer to being human.

But, as History has proven, it never lasts, because one of the traits of humanity is weakness and so, even an Angel can’t resist long while in love. A kiss would be all it took for peace to settle over the skies and earths again.

The last incident had happened almost 6 decades ago and the peace had stayed. But then, Blaine was brought in. 

He was still alive when he received his wings, he was born from an Winged mother and a human father which was not a rare occurrence, Angels “mating” with humans to keep links with the Earths, so Blaine coming into existence was nothing shocking.

What was, however, was Blaine’s mother going against everything to keep him safe. Angels weren’t supposed to have contact with their human progeny, but Blaine’s mother had always kept an eye on him and when his father died, she did the unthinkable and gave him her own wings.

She died for it. Punished by the Elders and sentenced to die on earth. Instead of letting her soul die out at the loss of her wings they let her fall. She died 4 years later from insanity. No one had helped her on earth.

Four years ago, when Blaine was 15, Sebastian had made a passing comment that she could have lived had she not been so weak, Blaine had tried to attack Sebastian but he was small and it did no good.

What had stuck, however, was Smythe’s comment, that she “could” have been helped. Blaine had always thought there wouldn’t be any chance of her surviving but after some research he had found out that Angels had spiritual powers as well as physical ones.

That’s when he decided to use the little he had to have an impact, no matter how small.

He was young at the time, in Winged years he was considered a baby but in human ones as well. No matter how charming he was, no hospital in their right mind would let him roam the halls “healing” people.

But he never gave up and when he turned 18 he immediately had a place in Ohio’s biggest hospital. 

Every Angel he came into contact with hated what he was doing, they didn’t know the half of it but they still hated him.

They enjoyed telling him often how he was “tainting” the Winged legacy, how he shouldn’t be among them. But Blaine didn’t mind, he used his anger and the rejection of his peers as fuel to help those amongst whom he was living; mortals.

But then came Kurt.

Blaine had promised himself when he got his wings that he would never let himself care. After losing his father and subsequently his mother he built a defence. He wouldn’t risk his place amongst the Winged, because even as a Lower, he could help.

He knew he was different from every Angel because he had empathy and he made sure to hide it all well so he could continue his work, so he could continue saving lives despite their “unimportance” according to the Angels.

But Kurt had changed everything and single handedly tilted everything in Blaine’s world. 

When an Angel falls for someone, they fall hard and they take the mortal with them. There are rumors among the skies that centuries ago Angels and mortals mingled and every Angel had a soulmate on earth.

So when, even in present times, they found each other the connection was instantaneous and intense. 

Blaine loved all the love stories he had read about that kind of love but he knew better than to believe it. He couldn’t allow himself to believe it after the promise he had made himself when he had gotten his wings.

But Kurt had changed that and he was scared out of his mind at how hard he fell for him and what that meant.

He had to stay away, he had tried, for almost ten days he had succeeded, but whenever he wasn’t with Kurt he felt broken and cold.

It was like what he had read in the books, his soul was only complete when he was near Kurt. 

But now Sebastian Smythe was here and if he dared step foot among the mortals he hated so much than there had to be an exponential reason.

“Why are you here, Smythe?”

“As I said, I…

“Shut up, don’t give me your narcissistic bullshit, talk.”

Sebastian came very close to actually flinching or perhaps even taking a shocked stepped back. Blaine never talked back, he never acted like anything other than his stupidly charming almost dapper self.

“As you wish. Rumors are… flying.” Smythe snickered at his own joke, oblivious to how lame it was.

“Rumors?” Blaine asked incredulously.

“Yes, some gossip and talk, if you will, that you are risking quite a bit more than permitted, down here.”

“Once again, Smythe, get to the point.”

“I… fine. The Hummel boy. I’m here to find out how much of a risk he is. We don’t want another Cleopatre situation on our hands. The Winged are worried, is all.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smirk at how uncomfortable his Brother looked. Talking about any type of emotion always irked him. 

“Smythe, are you telling me that you’re here about mouth-to-ear talk? The Elders have nothing to do with this, do they?”

“…Well, maybe not dir…”

“Get out.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Get. Out.”

“You don’t get to…”

Sebastian was red in the face, anger rolling off him like steam.

“Careful, Smythe, you’re starting to “feel”’

Blaine watched as his Brother’s jaw dropped before turning around and walking away, leaving a frozen Sebastian in his wake.

Once he was a few corridors away he slipped into one of the empty rooms, locking the door behind him before letting his whole body slump, slipping to the floor as he let out a sob of relief.

He had been terrified, fearing that either his plan had been figured out and he would be taken away or punished or that they knew just how deep his feelings for Kurt ran, either way, he could have lost Kurt and that scared him more than the idea of losing his wings.

He was shaking against the door, a mix of relief and fear still thrumming through him making him wrap his arms around his knees.

Letting his head fall against the door he tried to concentrate on getting his breathing back to normal. Hiding his emotions for so long was tiring, it took everything out of him, but letting Smythe feel them wasn’t an option, not if he wanted to be left alone on his corner of the earth.

It was rare, getting a visit from other Winged, let alone someone who wasn’t a Lower. The last time Sebastian had come Blaine was sixteen, he had called Smythe a walking, smirking punching bag which had earned him a three year silent treatment. 

Not that he would ever complain about that. But still, it was surprising to say the least. Blaine was grateful for the meaning behind the visit, all based on stupid rumors making their ways through the bored Angels with nothing to do besides talk. 

The Winged may not feel things but they could sure be bitchy and vindictive. 

As long as no one came on behalf of the Elders, Blaine was safe. Kurt was safe.

They were safe. No one could touch them. Nothing could touch them.

Blaine breathed in a deep breath before letting it out, with it letting out all his reservations.

He didn’t want to risk his place on earth for anything, but this was more than anything he could have anticipated. 

He didn’t want to stay away from Kurt. He couldn’t. 

He wouldn’t.

Nothing could move him away from Kurt.

 

^^^^^^

 

When Kurt opened his eyes he expected to be alone. He hoped he wasn’t, but reality was a vicious mistress that enjoyed metaphorical buckets of ice cold water a little too much.

But when he finally did register what he was seeing and not what he was expecting to see, he realized that he had been wrong.

Because Blaine was still there, arms wrapped tightly around him.

At one point during the night Kurt must have turned over because he woke up with his back pressed to Blaine’s warm chest. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder to check if it was, in fact, Blaine because he could feel the constant content heat that came with Blaine’s presence. 

Other than that, he could feel Blaine’s curls tickling the back of his neck and he knew his scent fairly well by now.

Kurt could even recognize the way Blaine breathed. Which should have creeped him out a little. 

But no, what did creep him out was the second noise in the room, which most certainly did not come from either him or Blaine.

“Booyeah!”

Kurt’s eyes widened, mouth dropping open before he turned around quickly, coming close to knocking Blaine right in the nose.

“Finn!”

Kurt near shrieked, suddenly burning under the pressing heat.

“Oh, hey, Kurt!”

“Finn! What are you doing here!?”

His voice was high and panicked and yet Blaine didn’t wake up and Finn continued on… playing? 

“Finn, is that… is that a gameboy?”

Finn looked up from his game with a ridiculously huge grin, seemingly pausing his game before holding it up proudly, for Kurt to see.

“It totally is! Some kid in pediatrics lent it to me! How cool is this? It has Mario, man!”

“…Finn, you’re seventeen!”

Suddenly the grin was gone and Finn was pouting.

“So what? Oh, so what, now that you’re an adult,” he made air-quotes while still holding the gameboy, the result more funny than anything, “awesomeness is not cool enough for you?”

Kurt gaped at him. Not knowing how to respond, he simply shook his head, but he was smiling.

“And I wouldn’t be saying anything, bro, I’m not the one in bed with Oulaine over there.”

Kurt groaned and fell back, this time actually knocking Blaine in the chin with his elbow.

Blaine bolted up, hair an absolute mess and eyes wild and open all the way even though he still seemed half asleep.

Kurt burst out laughing before he could stop himself, he had been trying to apologize but instead huge laughs came out and he couldn’t stop.

Completely confused Blaine looked down at him before turning to Finn who was also cracking up.

“I-I’m s-s… ahahahaha… sorry, oh god, Blaine, I’m so sorry.”

Blaine was smiling now as he watched the two brothers laugh hysterically. 

Kurt could barely stop laughing enough to gulp in some air but he didn’t care because it felt good to let go and laugh like that.

Soon, he calmed down enough to turn around onto his back, looking up at a grinning Blaine.

A little breathless, he asked: “What?”

Blaine only grinned wider before shaking his head a little, looking down as he linked his fingers with Kurt’s.

Kurt’s breath hitched, he couldn’t help from looking down at their joined hands, giving them a squeeze before returning his gaze to Blaine.

He seemed different, somehow, freer, younger. Like the weight of the world wasn’t on his shoulders, even for just a second.

Kurt was smiling in earnest now, something he never really did but he couldn’t help it. Just like he couldn’t help it when he rolled over just a bit to press a small kiss to Blaine’s wrist.

Realizing what he had done he leaned back, immediately seeking Blaine’s eyes with his own, but they were shining and happy and carefree.

Kurt didn’t know what had changed with Blaine but he felt lighter and happy and he wasn’t about to question that.

Suddenly Finn joined his line of vision and Kurt let out a little yelp because he was not expecting his brother to pop out from behind Blaine’s head. 

“So… I’m hungry.”

Finn said, matter-of-factly, making the face to go with it.

About twenty minutes later they had a sheet laid out on the ground with enough food for ten (four, max, according to Finn).

They spent most of their day there, but it didn’t feel like wasted time. Quite the opposite, Kurt had never felt happier. It was all so simple and… calm. After everything, it felt nice.

Around 5pm Blaine got up, seemingly reluctantly, and told them he had to go “do the rounds”.

Kurt tried to keep his face neutral as Blaine gathered his belongings and stood at the ready for goodbyes. He paused, though, before leaning down and kissing Kurt’s cheek, letting his lips linger just a little bit longer.

Kurt had fought the urge to just turn his head a little bit, just enough to connect their lips. But he stayed still as Blaine said goodnight to an awkward Finn who almost ran into a wall in his haste to end the conversation.

However, the second Blaine was out of the room, Kurt’s whole body lurched forward in violent convulsions and he gasped as the pain rocketed through his body. It lasted longer, now, the streaks of agony cutting through each vein.

Finn was by his side in an instant, yelling out for help.

Kurt wanted to tell him to calm down and that it was fine but the huge white flashes swimming in and out of his visions were back and worse than ever.

It lasted a full twenty seconds during which he gripped Finn’s arm hard enough to leave red crescent marks on his skin.

Once he regained his vision and breath everything was still spinning out of control so he opted for just closing his eyes, ignoring Finn’s rather loud bursts of panic as he let his head fall against Finn’s shoulder.

He felt cold and empty but he held on to the memory of the last few hours to get through the fog.

When he finally did come fully back, Finn was still shrieking out random words.

“Did I break you?”

Kurt asked, biting back a small smile

“I… what?” 

Finn looked so confused Kurt smiled in full.

“Did I break you?”

“…Kurt, what?”

“Never mind. I’m fine, Finn. You can calm down now.”

“But, dude! You were… like, dying!”

“Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”

“You freaked me out, man!”

“I…Oh, Finn, I’m sorry.”

Finn visibly slumped, puffing out his cheeks in a semblance of relief.

“So you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m alright.”

“Good.”

And with that Finn was standing up, grabbing Kurt’s arms and logging him over his shoulder, ignoring his yells of surprise and mortification as he dumped him on the bed.

Kurt landed with a giggle, bouncing a little until he finally settled, turning around to ask Finn what was going on.

Finn climbed at the end of the bed, awkwardly trying to force his legs to cross over one another.

“Finn, what are you….”

‘We’re going to meditate.”

“… I’m sorry, what now?”

“You and I, are going to… meditate… like yoga, but where you don’t talk. Or breathe. Or eat… Oh man… No, no, it’s fine. I can do this.”

“Finn…”

“Have faith.”

“Have fa…?”

“Shush. I’m told this is supposed to be a quiet activity. Which is really weird, but I’m willing to try.”

“I don’t…”

“Kurt, you’re ruining it.”

Kurt stayed quiet as he watched with confused amusement as Finn tried to sit still for more than thirty seconds. He started fidgeting less than a minute in.

“Hey, Finn? How about we invent our own kind of meditation, maybe over there by the leftover chicken?”

Finn was out of his position in a second, forgetting in the process that his legs were crossed, falling face first off the bed.

Kurt managed to stay calm, keeping his laughter in, as he stepped over him back over to the remaining mess that was their picnic. 

That night, after he said goodnight to Finn (who had decided meditation was “the best thing ever. I mean it had chicken, Kurt! Everything is awesome with chicken.”), he settled into the bed that seemingly had become his for his time in that hospital.

He didn’t let his eyes close yet, letting his mind drift, hoping that maybe he could kill enough time until Blaine returned. If Blaine returned. He berated himself for even letting that thought drift through his tired brain but now that it was there… he let himself wish for it. Just for a moment.

Blaine had slept wrapped around him the previous night and Kurt couldn’t help but crave that sense of security and… happiness that came with being so close to Blaine.

He was starting to scare himself with how dependant on Blaine he was becoming and that was when ignoring the very physical and painful reaction to any and all separation. It was all new and so intense he had trouble breathing just thinking about it sometimes.

What they had… even with so little time they had gotten closer than Kurt had ever let happen and nothing but the idea of being separated by more than the confines of the hospital made Kurt’s chest constrict, cutting at his senses.

Something in that should have alerted Kurt at abnormal it all was but the only real thing resonating in Kurt’s mind was how real it all was. 

Behind the strange intensity and somewhat terrifying effects of being apart, Kurt had never felt so alive and despite it all he never wanted it to end because it all felt so right. 

He kept scoffing at how ridiculous it all sounded, even in his own head, but he knew what he felt and when he ignored logic and focused on how incredible he felt when he was around Blaine, everything else was forgotten.

Blaine brought him things that he had never had before, other than extreme and slightly overwhelming happiness, he also got security and caring. His father had brought him those, that comfort, but never like that.

Never in a way that could make him feel like it was alright to fall.

But he also got honesty and trust and for the first time in his life he had the chance to put it all out on the line because for once he was willing to open up, to be himself all the way. Blaine was… fixing him, in a way, helping him be alright with being vulnerable. 

The fear of it all falling apart was present, somewhere in the back of his mind, it was there and pressing, but it was a risk he was more than willing to take. That’s what you did when it came to love…

Kurt stilled.

Love? Was that what it was? Where was the panic that should have come with that realization? Where was the fear and the disbelief? 

Kurt’s whole body slumped with some sense of relief but before he could even let out a dramatic content sigh, he heard the sounds. 

After practically living in the hospital for so long he had grown accustomed to the rush of emergency, but every once in awhile there would be a resounding effect through every wall, when something big went down.

That’s when he would hear the sounds. Rushing footsteps and the eery deafening silence before everything would fall apart, rippling through the whole hospital like a shock wave.

Kurt hated these moments because no matter what he would always be convinced it was about his family, or someone he knew. Pushing the covers away from his fear-strung body, he rushed over to the door.

It was all surely paranoia but he had to know. Before he could step out Rosie was pushing him back in, rushing to close the door behind them while the panic continued to grow.

“Rosie, wha…”

“Hush now, Leskov.” 

Kurt let himself be pushed further into the room but the more he went the more he felt the need to run out. Something was pulling him in the opposite direction.

“Foockin’ Winged brats…”

Rosie was mumbling but he couldn’t hear her, the ringing in his ears getting too loud and the pull in his limbs making concentration impossible. He needed to be somewhere but he didn’t understand it.

“Blaine.” He hadn’t realized he had said it until the meaning hit him, it was Blaine, something was going on and Blaine was involved and Kurt knew. 

“No!”

Kurt started, finally turning his attention to the stoic-looking nurse.

“Rosie, something’s going on with Bla…”

“I said no, Tyutchev and I mean it. You ain’t going out there.”

Kurt’s blood ran cold, he could hear the pulse of it slowing in his ears.

“Tell me what’s going on.”


	2. The Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra warnings: homophobia, a little violence

“Tell me what’s going on.”

His voice was sharp and harsh and he would feel guilty about that later. But the need to find out where Blaine was came stronger than the desire to move towards Blaine without knowing, he couldn’t go in blind but he would if he had to.

Rosie seemed to comprehend that with one look at his face.

“There was… an accident. One of those huge ones that takes over the whole hospital, everyone gets on board. Blaine… he isn’t allowed to help, because he isn’t a… doctor but he always tries and that gets him in trouble.”

“Trouble? For helping?”

Rosie cringed a little, like she’s was weeding out what she could and couldn’t say but as long as she was talking and assuring him that Blaine was ok, Kurt would let it slip.

“It’s complicated. But he’s fine, just… a little angry, at the moment. He may not be able to help but he knows the people who can and let’s just say… they aren’t. Oh, Ostrovsky, I wish I could explain better.”

Kurt stayed quiet for a moment, trying to make sense of it all, figuring out what to say next.

“What was the accident?”

“…Kurt,” -Already that was an indication that he wouldn’t want to know,- “Maybe you shouldn’t hea…”

“Just tell me.”

It came out small but determined. He was going to find Blaine and be there for him, but he needed to know what he was there for.

“There was a shooting.”

Kurt couldn’t stop the awful flashes that happened, the on slew of questions, what if it was at his old school, what if it was in the hospital, he may have hated both places but he cared about the people in them. What if it was at the flower market where Carol shops, what if it was at his favorite library where he hid when things got bad?

Three seconds was all it took for every worst possibility and theory to take his oxygen away.

“Hey, hey! Come on, Bakunin, don’t flip out on me! Hey, psst, come on, get with the program. It was a shooting at the shopping mall, in a gun store, calm down!”

Suddenly his cheek was burning and he was facing to the left. She had slapped him. He had been slapped.

“A g-gun store?”

“I know, what a beautifully tragic irony. Well anyway, it started in there, a man went insane, after that it turned into a shit-storm.”

“How… how many people wer…”

“Killed?”

“I… no, I don’t want to know, just… how many people can be saved, or that were hurt but will be alright..?”

“I can see why Bassanio likes you.”

“…Would that make me Antonio?”

“No, because this isn’t unrequited love, now is it?”

Kurt felt a little ridiculous for blushing, especially during a time like this, but he couldn’t help it. The idea that Rosie was putting in his head was lovely and the thought that Blaine could not only return his feelings but maybe one day even act on them was a warming one.

But soon enough reality snapped back in.

“Hey, Rosie? Will you let me see Blaine?”

Rosie sighed and Kurt appreciated the dramatic spin she put on it.

“Fine. But that’s only because I think you may be the only person who can get him calm again. But he’s still out there in the mess, you have to get him away from it all. Yeah, this is good, I can use this to get him away from the moose-and-goose.”

“Moos…”

“Don’t question anything I say. How have you not learned this?”

“Fine, fine!” Kurt was grateful for the humor, everything was getting dark and dire and the break was soothing.

“Okay, but first I need to make sure you’ll be alright in there. It’s not all fun and games.”

“I can handle the real world, you know.”

“It isn’t the real world out there; it’s the worst side of the world, the one that’s hidden.”

“Rosie, I can handle it.”

“I know. I just feel obligated to tell you. You’re stronger than anyone gives you credit for.”

Kurt was strong, but the things he saw when brought to the center of the hospital rattled him to his core. The sounds alone were enough to make him shake and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t make it when his eyes found Blaine in the crowd.

He was surrounded by people, trying to talk to everyone at once and looking absolutely panicked and scared out of his mind but still focused and attentive. Somehow it was a calming sight, despite all the horror going on around them, Kurt let himself be comforted by the presence.

Turning around to try and find Rosie he was knocked over by a screaming couple rushing towards doctors, crying out for help.

Kurt fell against one of the walls, cradling his elbow just for a second before trying to stand up again. Everyone was running by and the chaos was extreme, getting up proved to be near impossible as he was pushed from every angle.

But he wouldn’t let fear paralyse him as he crawled towards where he knew was the bathroom. He could have gone in the closet that was closer to him, but the idea of being safe in the bathroom where he and Blaine had first met was giving him the presence of mind to push through without getting trampled on.

His plan kind of dissolved when he reached the bathroom only to find it locked. He was in a remotely calm corner of the room so he tried to tuck himself against the wall until his heart stopped beating in his eardrums.

Everything was rushing around and if he couldn’t get Blaine away from there he would at least try and help.

At that moment a man came bursting in with, who appeared to be, his son on his arm. He was screaming for someone to pay attention to his son, who according to the father, had broken his leg.

The man could barely hold him up so Kurt managed to get up and run over, preparing to offer his aid. But the moment the man caught sight of Kurt and heard him suggest he help, his face twisted into one of disgust and Kurt knew what was going to happen before it did.

Suddenly the man was almost wrenching his son away from Kurt, almost toppling over in the process and certainly causing the boy more pain.

“Stay away from my son, you fairy! We don’t need your help!”

Kurt took a step back, shock etching over his features. He may have seen it coming but it didn’t stop it from hurting.

He didn’t have a witty retort or snappy comment to make because this was more than some high school brain-dead idiot; this was a grown man, practically twice his size, directing such hateful comments towards him without knowing anything other than his appearance.

Almost two years ago Kurt had stopped wearing the latest fashions, promising himself he would come back full-force the moment he was out of that small, awful town. He didn’t change who he was, he just toned down his wardrobe a little.

But apparently nothing was ever going to be enough in this place.

The venom in the man’s words shot straight to his heart but he could still see the son’s struggle to cope with the pain. So, ignoring the father’s request, he helped hold the kid, who couldn’t have been more than twelve, up.

That seemed to have been a mistake. Ignoring his son’s leg, he dropped him and lunged at Kurt, pushing him away. He barely noticed his son’s yells as he advanced on Kurt, face red and fists clenched.

Kurt was backed into the wall once again, he could barely breathe but right before the man reached him, Blaine appeared behind them, two security guards flanking him.

Before Kurt could see what would happen, Blaine was dragging him away by the elbow. He took out a key from his pants pocket and opened up the bathroom, pulling Kurt inside with him.

“Kurt, ar…”

“I’m fine.”

He knew perfectly well how easily Blaine would see right through him and nothing but that made him wrap his arms around himself.

But despite everything he actually felt alright, he wasn’t calm by any means, but he wasn’t close to a breakdown.

Still, he was grateful when Blaine moved towards him, albeit carefully.

“Just hug me, Blaine!”

He didn’t know where it came from but it seemed like a good solution since Blaine let out a small breathy laugh before taking the final step and wrapping his arms around Kurt’s neck.

Kurt held back just as tightly because it wasn’t about him at that moment and even if Blaine wouldn’t say it in so many words, he needed to be cared for just as much as Kurt.

Still holding onto Kurt, Blaine managed to awkwardly maneuver them to the door so he could sneak and arm under Kurt’s to lock it. Kurt giggled into Blaine’s collar at the bordering-on-silly situation and was glad to hear Blaine laugh as well.

After a while Kurt murmured reluctantly in the small space, almost like he was afraid to break the spell:

“Can we just stay here… forever, or something.”

Once he had said it he felt so silly and childish and came very close to regretting it before he felt Blaine breathe in deeply and tighten his grip, nodding the smallest bit against Kurt’s neck.

“Yes, please.” He whispered in the near darkness of the room.

Kurt shut his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the sting behind them, trying to keep his body from trembling, trying to keep his mind in order, trying to remember the promises they had left unsaid.

Their relationship was nothing normal and he wanted it all, he wanted more. But he also knew that he wouldn’t risk losing it by going against what Blaine… wanted. The way they were around each other made it hard to see the limit, see the line drawn between them.

But he swallowed it all down and forced himself to put everything aside. For now.

“Blaine, are you alright?”

“..What? Kurt, why wo…”

“Just answer the question. Be honest with me. Are you ok? With all this?”

Kurt realized the double meaning behind his words and he hoped Blaine wouldn’t dig further.

“I just want to help more… I can’t and nothing is worse than sitting in the sidelines knowing… just. It’s difficult. And frustrating.”

“I know.”

Blaine laughed a little, the sound reverberating through Kurt’s skin, like freaking Skittles.

“What do you know?”

Kurt chewed his lip, he barely had anything to go on, just bits and ends of a situation he somehow knew was bigger than him. But he knew enough.

“I just do.”

Kurt smiled, knowing Blaine couldn’t see it but doing it anyway. He unwound his arms from around Blaine’s waist and took the tiniest step backwards.

He was about to take another one since he hadn’t really anticipated how close they would be, foreheads touching. But Blaine tightened his grip once more, pulling Kurt forward.

“Bla…”

“Just, one more moment, a little longer. A little piece of forever.”

Kurt would have assumed being so close to Blaine would be tortuous and frustrating. Close enough to kiss, to breathe each other’s air, to see every single sliver of emotion crossing his eyes, even in the dark. He would have thought it would have suffocated him, driven him crazy.

But instead he felt every worry melt away, he felt that strange sensation of peace he always had with Blaine.

The frustration took a backseat, acceptance took over.

They stayed like that, content and comfortable, until the noises outside the door started coming back, loud enough to breach their shell.

Blaine sighed, making Kurt smile at how melodramatic it was, almost as good as Rosie’s.

“You have to go back out there?”

“Yeah, I can’t do much other than help organize things. It makes me forget about… everything. Stops me from doing anything stupid.”

“Like locking yourself in a bathroom?”

“Yes, but it’s with you, so it’s not something stupid.”

Kurt looked over at him, raised eyebrow and smirk in place.

“You keep going from stupidly romantic to lame and cheesy romantic.”

He had frozen before having even finished the sentence. Suddenly the lack of space between them was pressing and fear was bubbling up in Kurt’s chest. He had gone too far, taken that stupid step over the line and pushing at the very fragile vase that was their… friendship.

He could almost see it falling.

Blaine was still, very close to tense, Kurt could feel it in his hold still around his neck. He wasn’t looking at him. Kurt wanted to let go and cry and apologize, something, anything. He needed a reaction, just… anything.

Kurt swallowed, a hard task with the huge lump in his throat and the panic boiling over through his heart and mind.

“Blaine, I’m so…”

Kurt sounded broken and weak, but Blaine pretended not to notice.

“It’s fine. Anyway, I should go.”

Blaine was letting go, unwinding his arms quickly and stepping back, but Kurt was faster, almost pushing him out of the way, he unlocked the door and stepped out, walking quickly and surely through the throngs of people still rushing around.

He had to get away from all that before he could fall apart, in both senses of the word.

The corner was in sight, so close, he just had to get passed a few more people. Soon enough he was away from everyone and he could finally let out the howl of pain that had been building in his chest, the crippling agony making his knees fail him and legs fall out from under him.

He fell to the ground hard, head spinning and it felt like his own blood was curling in on itself. The white fluttery flashes were back, dancing across his vision, blinding him momentarily. One of the calmest parts of it all.

It ended faster than some of the other “attacks” but it was still resonating through him as he stood up. He opened his eyes, just in time to see something rush around the corner.

Without thinking, he walked forward, trying to see what it was, but the second he turned the corner the bright flashes were back, they weren’t white, though, they were dirty grey and violent. He barely had time to brace himself against the wall before he felt himself fall to the ground. A laugh resonating in his ears as everything went black.

 

^^^^^^

 

Blaine watched the door bounce back after Kurt left, he wanted to scream and run… run after Kurt and tell him everything, run after Kurt and throw caution to the wind, he wanted…

He couldn’t. He knew that. More than anyone, he knew he couldn’t.

Red hot anger surged through him and he slapped his open palm against the still-open door with a yell. The door slammed shut under the hit, leaving him in that perfect darkness they had been in seconds ago, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He was breathing hard, frustration mingling with pain and anger and a strong childish desire to yell out about the unfairness of the situation.

His hand throbbed as he let his palm slip down the door until his arm dropped and his whole body slumped forward until his forehead hit the cold wood. He wanted to punch the door again but he was pretty sure he had already scared people with the first hit.

So instead he growled as he felt the telltale stabs of pain starting in his back, shooting through his bloodstream, reaching every part of his body. He knew how to deal with it well, but the intensity of the burn between his shoulder blades was worse than it had ever been.

But then he felt it, pain that wasn’t his, flashes of grey… wings that weren’t his. Suddenly his pain didn’t matter as he pulled the door open violently.

He ignored every gaping person as he stumbled over to where he knew Kurt was because he could almost hear his pain, feel it double-up on his own. But it was stronger than it should have been.

Nothing between them was in any way normal, they had gone through the extremes long ago, but this was stronger than separation pain. By the time he reached the corner his vision was blurring and a weight was pulling him down, like his heart and soul were on the ground and he needed to join it. That only made him go faster.

He turned the corner just in time to see Sebastian leaning over Kurt, running a finger along his jaw, almost analysing his seemingly sleeping face, bringing his finger under his chin to tilt it up.

Blaine’s heart squeezed in a panic, Kurt was asleep, he knew he wasn’t anything other than passed out, or else he would have felt it. But seeing Sebastian almost play with him, treating Kurt like a puppet, because he knew fully well that’s all humans were to Sebastian, dispensable things… It was terrifying.

“He’s a pretty little thing, isn’t he?”

Sebastian was grinning, knowing full well how cruel he sounded and loving every second of it. Blaine’s stomach twisted in disgust as he watched his Brother as he ran a thumb over Kurt’s lip, humming.

All of the sudden Sebastian had dropped Kurt, letting him slip down the wall to the floor.

Blaine immediately reacted, rushing over to catch him, despite how little distance he had to fall, Blaine felt like his own heart was tumbling with him.

But Sebastian had done it for that purpose. Faster than humanly possible he had Blaine against the wall by the throat, pressing his forearm to his neck, making the back of his head knock hard against the wall.

But he barely had time to regain his senses as Smythe pressed in harder, sealing him into the wall and growling furiously in his ear:

“You sicken me, Anderson. I have never witnessed Angel Fever that strong, you’ve ruined the little human and I will not sit idly by while you ruin yourself for him. I knew it, I knew it from the start but I had some sick and twisted faith in you, that you would be stronger than some damn mortal’s control.”

Blaine was trying to fight him off, scratching at the arm cutting off his oxygen but the words were starting to hit him, more than fear was washing over him.

“Smy…”

“Shut up, you’re no Winged!” He emphasized his point by slamming him again, “You’re just a weak little bastard who never should have been given his wings!”

Sebastian grabbed Blaine’s hand, the one with the ring, holding it up to make his point,

“You don’t deserve this! You don’t deserve these! You never did!”

He tried to smash Blaine’s hand into the wall, trying to destroy his ring: his wings.

In a blink Sebastian was against the opposite wall leaving Blaine gasping and holding his throat as he collapsed, barely caring enough to look up and understand why he could suddenly breathe again.

He was coughing violently, tears falling as he slumped over, trying desperately to inhale enough air. In the distance he could hear a voice but he couldn’t find it in him to care as he fought the blurriness in his vision to glance over at Kurt.

Kurt’s hand was right there and he wanted nothing more than to reach over and link their fingers.

“Blaine.”

That voice. He had only ever heard it once in his life. It wasn’t a voice he ever expected to hear again, much less on earth.

An Elder. One of the highest ranks among the Winged, in fact, the highest rank any other Angel can ever even dream of coming in contact with.

Blaine lifted his head up, focusing on the speaker’s face. He glanced behind him, only for a second, to see Sebastian still against the wall, completely still. He was frozen in time.

Blaine couldn’t help the small snort he let out at that before he cleared his throat and stood up shakily, hoping the Elder would perhaps overpass the indecency. Finally back on his feet, Blaine tried his best to square his shoulders and look… strong.

He could almost hear Kurt laughing at him for that, making a small smile flitter across his face.

“Blaine Anderson.”

“Yes, si…” He didn’t exactly know how to address an Elder when not having just received his wings and high off the pain of getting them seared onto his finger in the shape of a ring.

He cleared his throat again, choosing to stay quiet until he had to speak, he was planning on not causing himself more ridicule.

Blaine’s heart suddenly stuttered, a realisation hitting him. All at once anger was pushing itself back into his being, his whole face locked in fury as he remember exactly what an Elder being on earth meant.

“Bl…”

“It was you, you used that man’s body to walk the earths, you used that man’s mind and you… you caused him to lose it.”

Blaine was taking desperate steps backwards, horror gliding through his system as he hit the wall.

“It’s your fault, all those people… they’re hurt… some are dead… All for what? So you could take a little joyride among your toys?”

His voice was cracked but strong all the same, resonating in the hallway.

The higher Winged before him seemed unfazed by his words which only made Blaine angrier. He was just standing there, as if expecting his words and just waiting for them to be over, for the anger to pass.

Blaine rubbed his hands over his face roughly, trying to calm himself down because he knew very well that violence wasn’t the answer, especially against someone who could take him down in less than a heartbeat.

He took a breath before continuing, feeling it almost shatter in his lungs.

“Why are you here?”

“To talk to you.”

Blaine collapsed against the wall, falling to the ground, body trembling violently as his ears rang with the meaning behind those words. It was his fault. A man had lost his senses and gone to a gun store to wound and kill dozens all because of him.

Whenever something so huge came though the hospital Blaine always got angry because he couldn’t help and he knew that Angels were always around during catastrophes, there to check the damage and that they never helped either.

But this time… this time Angels caused it. This time the Winged were the ones behind it, all because of him.

“As your superi…”

“Whose body are you using now?”

“Excuse me?”

Blaine looked up, fury leaking through his words,

“Whose. Body. Are. You. Using. Now.”

“Blaine, I think you’re forgetting who you’re speaking to, right now.”

“You mons.”

“Quiet.”

Blaine’s mouth snapped shut without his consent, an Angel’s spell keeping it closed.

“Blaine, what we do is none of your concern, the fact that you… frequent this place is of no interest to us when it comes to our job. You do not have the right to speak to me or any other Elder that way. You are young and naive and if the weasel’s” - he nodded over to Smythe- “words and claims have any truth behind them than you are also attached to mortals.”

He paused to look over at Kurt’s still unconscious form. A cold shiver ran through Blaine’s spine.

“I am here on behalf of the Skies, we have decided to offer you… a position, above this one. You would have access to the earths as well as the skies. No longer a Lower. Nod if you understand.”

Blaine stayed still. Refusing to show anything other than resentment. Finn would be proud.

“Oh, child, you are so… young. In any case, we are giving you the opportunity to takes Sebastian’s place.”

Smythe may not have been anywhere near as powerful as an Elder but he did hold more powers than most Angel’s with the ability to walk the earths.

He was getting a promotion.

Blaine felt sick. People had actually died for this.

But the Elder just stood there, not even flinching at the venom in Blaine’s eyes and seemingly deciding it would be discussed later.

“Blaine, we are giving you a choice here. It would permit you to… move on, a little.” He once again snuck a glance to Kurt, but Blaine’s eyes stayed fixed on him, not daring to look over. “You have time, you have the final decision, of course.”

If Blaine could scoff, he would have.

The Elder touched Blaine’s cheek, his ring coming into contact with his skin, burning him with the heat of the skies where it touched. Blaine screamed and was surprised to hear it actually leave his mouth. The spell had been broken.

“You could have… helped, you could have done something. You… what you did…”

Blaine lowered his head, feeling as tears prickled his eyes.

“You can still help them,” He mumbled to the ground, not daring to look up. “You could still repair some of the damage you cau…”

He finally lifted his head. The Elder was gone.

Suddenly Sebastian was mobile again, immediately falling forward and coming close to crashing to the ground.

Blaine let his head fall backwards, now sitting up against the wall.

“Why are you crying?”

The question could have been considered kind had Smythe not said with disgust and legitimate confusion.

“You don’t care at all? About the humans, I mean, the ones in this hospital or out there who don’t have the ability to survive and who will die? Do you not fee…”

“No.”

Blaine closed his eyes once more. He knew who he was talking to and he knew this was all really the equivalent of having a discussion with a box of matches, but he had to let some of it out.

“We could help, th… They could help them. The people out there, hurt and dying, you higher ups could do something and yet you just stand there feeling nothing but the pull of your own ego telling you to go look in the closest mirror.”

“They don’t matter, Blaine.”

“Yes, yes they do. They shouldn’t be considered “the bottom of the food chain” because they’re stronger and wiser than us.”

“Oh, whatever, Anderson. I’m getting tired of your sentimental bullshit.”

Blaine wanted to inform him he was getting his promotion, just out of spite, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Your human is awake.”

Blaine turned his head just in time to see Kurt shift in his sleep before opening his eyes. He crawled over in a rush, needing to check that Kurt was alright.

Relief and an extraordinary amount of happiness hit him as he saw Kurt look up at him, he still looked completely out of it but he had a small smile on his lips and that’s all Blaine needed from him.

Blaine had to stop himself from just leaning down and kissing him like he so desperately wanted to. Instead he settled for leaning his face down close to his, whispering up close:

“Are you alright?”

Kurt shifted a little, Blaine was about to start apologizing for everything but stopped short when Kurt brought a hand to his cheek and drowsily mumbled,

“Are you an Angel?”

Blaine’s heart stopped, only for a second before realizing that Kurt was joking.

So Blaine grabbed the hand on his jaw and brought it to his lips, confessing against it,

“Of course.”

Kurt hummed contentedly before letting his eyes slip closed.

“Fly me away, then.”

Blaine laughed softly before putting Kurt’s delicate wrist over his own shoulder, sneaking his arms under Kurt’s back and knees, lifting him up as gently as possible and trying his best not to lose his balance as Kurt held on and he started walking back towards Kurt’s room.

He didn’t even look back to see if Smythe had stayed.

They reached the room quickly, Kurt being the perfect distraction as he slipped through corridor after corridor.

Blaine managed to open the lounge’s door without jostling the now-sleeping Kurt in his arms. Even out cold Kurt was still holding on tightly as Blaine gingerly set Kurt on his bed, turning him a little on his side to get the covers from under him so he could settle Kurt beneath them.

The fact that he had put Kurt further on the side of the bed than normal for someone sleeping alone was surely only a coincidence, he assured himself.

As he moved to walk away, albeit reluctantly, he felt the hand still near his grab on.

“Stay with me.”

It was only a whisper in the pitch black room but Blaine heard it perfectly, letting the words fall over him like a caress. He smiled before slipping in under the covers next to Kurt who managed to sneak a hand out and grab his tightly in his own before he fell asleep.

It may have all been complicated between them but in moments like these Blaine could see himself forgetting everything and falling further than he already had.

He was in love with Kurt and he was sick of running, he was sick of hurting Kurt’s feelings and by affiliation, his own. His heart hurt too much when he wasn’t near Kurt and the emotional pain was many degrees worse than any physical pain he felt when they weren’t close.

He may have been an Angel by blood, but he was also human and apparently they were supposed to be, by definition, “weak”. Then so be it.

Blaine was still smiling as he heard Kurt mumble his name before they both drifted off into sleep.

 

^^^^^^

 

When his mother had died, Kurt had been subjugated to night terrors. Every night he would wake his father with his screaming from dreams of drowning or falling or suffocating.

They lasted long enough that even at such a young age Kurt could see the effects they were having on Burt. Deep purple indentations under his eyes and sluggish movements the next day.

When Kurt had asked to get the room in the basement he had led Burt to believe it was for privacy and the liberty to sing loudly when really it was to give his father peace of mind and most importantly; sleep.

The nightmares returned when he started high school and once again when he came out but never since. Even during Burt’s first trip to the hospital they didn’t haunt his nights in that horrible visitor’s chair.

But it was barely a surprise when they had come back stronger than ever in the last few weeks. The stress and constant fear were enough to torment his mind during the day as well as in his sleep.

He had noticed, however, that they stopped when Blaine slept near him. During the few times they had fallen asleep almost in each other’s arms his mind has stayed free and peaceful.

It felt nice, having that tranquillity he couldn’t find anywhere else. Even if it was only for short periods of time, it was enough to reset his emotions and find a calm halfway point. Even with the painful after effects, it was worth it.

But after everything that had happened that day Kurt knew that even Blaine wouldn’t be able to keep every nightmare at bay.

Which was why he was surprised when every one of his typical dreams went…right. Where he usually woke up screaming, he was saved and each of them had a happy ending. They were still there, but it wasn’t the usual succession of horrors and deaths.

Blaine wasn’t ever in his line of the sight inside the dreams but Kurt could feelhim and every time he lived through another night terror he would have the white flashes that usually plagued him when Blaine was gone or leaving, but here they only brought comfort.

It was strange and foreign, it all made him feel slightly lost in his own mind but he was grateful nonetheless.

He did, however, wake up the usual way on those god awful nights, bolting up, breathing shallowly, like not enough air was reaching his lungs, making him panic for a moment before the sound of his own heartbeat would bring him back to reality.

Safe.

He was safe.

Only then did he notice his violent awakening had jostled Blaine, enough that he was also sitting up, rubbing his eyes before taking Kurt’s hand in concern.

Blaine didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask or push or pry, he just held Kurt’s hand and let everything fall back into place in Kurt’s mind.

Kurt stared down at their hands. He had the small vision of them in the future, living together and Blaine being there for him whenever the dreams resurfaced, holding his hand and luling him back to sleep with comfort and gentle nothings whispered in his ear.

A small smile curved at Kurt’s lips, albeit bittersweet, it still felt nice.

“Have you ever dyed your hair white?”

Kurt closed his eyes, wondering when his brain-to-mouth filter would wake up and save him. But Blaine merely smiled and tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand.

“Um, no. Not that I know of anyway. Why do you ask?”

There was a pause. Kurt didn’t know how to answer because he didn’t even know why he had asked in the first place. He cleared his throat and tried to piece it together for himself as well as for Blaine.

“I don’t… I guess I just seem to… associate you with that color. White, I mean. Every time we… I don’t know. I just seem to…”

Kurt’s voice faded away. The white. The flashes were always there the second Blaine wasn’t around but also when he came back and when they touched. Always there on the edges of his vision like smoke drifting in and away but a constant when it came to Blaine.

“White?”

Kurt shook his head, trying to clear it. Nothing was making sense and yet it was all fitting together but the overall picture wasn’t reaching Kurt yet. He couldn’t see the whole puzzle and it frustrated him to no end.

Blaine was shaking their linked hands a little, trying to get Kurt’s drifting attention.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt finally looked up at Blaine, “never mind. It’s nothing, forget about it.”

He tried to smile but something wasn’t right. There was painful tug in his chest.

Blaine was quiet so Kurt decided to ask:

“What time is it?”

“6 am.”

Kurt stayed still. Breathing in through his nose, trying to control his emotions but most importantly, his features.

“You have to go.”

Blaine sighed, his gaze dropping from Kurt’s face, giving Kurt a moment to shut his eyes tightly, attempting to end the prickling behind them.

“Yes. My shift starts… well, now.”

He looked back up and Kurt responded to his pained gaze with a tight smile. Before he could say anything else Blaine dropped his hand and brought both of his to Kurt’s face, cupping his cheeks and pulling him close.

Kurt didn’t let his eyes close even as he watched Blaine’s fall shut. Their foreheads were pressed together and it was enough to make him dizzy but he wouldn’t let his eyes close. Whether it was to keep watching Blaine or to perhaps catch a flash of white, he didn’t know.

Maybe it was just to control any tears.

“… Blaine.”

“I’ll be back tonight, alright?”

Kurt scoffed gently, bringing one of his own hands up to place over Blaine’s.

“What about the rules?”

“You’re too important to me to care about those. I will be back tonight. I promise.”

Blaine opened his eyes and Kurt stared right back, only seeing an earnest expression with quite a desperate quality, it made him giggle a little. The best part was seeing Blaine’s responding smile.

“Alright.”

With a final kiss to his cheek, Blaine was getting up and walking towards the door.

Kurt focused all his attention to keeping his eyes open. He had to understand. He had to see. The white flashes came the second the door fell shut, taking his breath in a second as he struggled to stay sitting up.

He tried to ignore everything else as he watched his own vision be invaded by the white fluttery flashes but the pain was too much and with a yell he had to close his eyes, feeling them almost burn as tears slipped through.

He fell back against the pillows as the pain started to fade away, leaving him trembling and eyes still closed tightly. The relief was enough for his body and mind to fall into an immediate, pulling sleep.

 

~-~-~

 

By the time he woke up again all the tension from the previous day’s events had finally drained out of his body.

He felt lighter when he came back to. He was surprised to feel a smile on his lips as he stretched out on the mattress, letting it grow as he remembered who he had shared it with the night before.

Being a little dramatic was his forte, so he enjoyed curling out like a cat, pushing all the sheets and quilts away as he stretched out all his limbs, feeling all the crinks and knots straighten out. He felt well rested and fresher than he had in weeks.

That was enough to get him out of bed and into action. He had only slept another 3 hours which meant he almost had a full day ahead of him.

Living in the hospital had been draining and daunting in so many ways, but there were also the little things, like never taking the time to pick out outfits anymore or perfecting his hair, he had been leaving it all up to standard hospital shampoo and the clothes Carol had brought him from home.

All these things that had seemed important before were now so trivial and petty. But he knew that was only the situation talking, he was faced with life and death, love and loss.

When he had lost his mother he had felt it as well, it had pushed him to mature faster, grow up a little before his time. It had given him perspective and a tougher skin but it had also changed him. He never wanted to become one of those people who always expected the worse but the cracks in his childhood had shaken him and his expectancies.

He would never admit it, but being forced to step up as a second command of sorts by his father’s side had been harder than he let on. But now, coming to face the possibility of losing another parent for a second time, it felt so much worse.

He didn’t want to be saved but he didn’t want to be stunted either. He loved his childhood and even his life in general but he couldn’t help but fear that every time things started going right for him, it would all crumble down.

Without meaning to, he had set himself up to living in constant awareness that everything could change in a heartbeat, no one else his age had that and it hurt him to know that this pessimism could define him and maybe even follow him into adulthood.

By altering himself to survive high school he had proven to himself that he was pushing his “grand debut” back because he wouldn’t dare take risks, all because he didn’t want things to get worse because even at a young age he feared that maybe they also wouldn’t get better.

But things were changing, his way of thinking and his dead-set view on life being only an uphill battle had been derailed when he met Blaine at one of the worst moments of his life.

According to him, when things were alright, something had to go bad. But what happens when something good comes along with the bad?

For the first time in his life, Kurt had been thrown a curveball in the right direction and despite shattering his premature life expectations it had freed him of himself, in a way, finally giving him something to look forward to other than fear.

The thought made something tighten in his chest, it wasn’t a realization but more of an acceptance, Blaine had changed him for the better. Even if things were far above abnormal with them he knew that however it ended, or otherwise, he could never regret it because by falling in love he learned to like himself better.

Kurt shook his head a little with a laugh as he heard how silly that sounded, but even he couldn’t deny the new sense of peace settling over him. It was weird and intense but he let it happen.

After getting showered and dressed he took the chance of leaving the doctor’s lounge, his temporary room, to go wondering. The place was quiet and calm, but not in the eerie way that usually alerted him of something huge. It was comforting.

He never thought he would ever see such a place as anything near comforting but after being there for so long he came to think of it as a refuge, he was faced with terrible things but at least he was in somewhere safe where he was protected from any other reality.

He didn’t have to understand it to appreciate it.

The hospital was huge but for the places he needed he knew exactly where to go and how to get there. It had taken a while and a lot of reluctance but he was now getting to know the layout quite well.

That morning he hadn’t gotten his usual drop-off coffee from Blaine but that was only because Kurt usually wasn’t up at this hour so he headed to where he knew the best coffee was situated: the nurses’ station.

“Solzhenitsyn!”

Kurt grinned as he approached Rosie who had seen him the second he had turned the final corner. All the other nurses smiled at him but Rosie was ruffling his hair and trying to trip him before he even had the coffee machine in sight.

During his weeks among the doctors and patients he had gotten to know all the nurses quite well, but none were as open and honest as Rosie.

When Blaine had declared the break in their friendship, Rosie had been the one to tell him to “suck it up”, even though she was friends with Blaine she was still there for him when he needed to vent and rage and through most of it she agreed Blaine was being a “prissy little dickhead.”

She made Kurt laugh and her no-bullshit attitude was refreshing compared to her peers who were walking on eggshells around Kurt.

But Rosie wasn’t overly careful with him, she didn’t sugar coat anything and she didn’t give the time of day to anyone who even tried to manipulate her. She enjoyed telling Kurt she could smell lies and she hated marketing.

Kurt loved her.

He quickly slipped into their conversation, already being privy to all the gossip going around the hospital he was able to easily join in while he prepared himself a coffee.

The first time he had gone up to them and asked if it was possible to get a grande non-fat anything they had all laughed at him and Rosie was the one who informed him that he had the choice between black, brown or really black.

He had blushed and added cream and sugar and scurried away bright red at a comment about him liking it sweet and sensual.

Ever since that day, he gradually learned to take it without anything, following in the nurses footsteps.

A little while later when most of the women had scattered and gotten to work, Kurt got to sit next to Rosie. For a moment they sat in a comfortable silence, both sipping their coffees and relaxing.

“So, how long are you going to make me wait, Aleksandr?”

Kurt lowered his cup, trying to keep the confusion off his face as he turned to her, pulse suddenly accelerating.

“I was not aware you were waiting for anything other than your coffee to cool down.”

Rosie snorted, Kurt knew she always loved it when he sassed her right back. Usually no one dared. Other than Blaine, of course.

“You’re smiling quite a bit for someone who’s supposedly heartbroken.”

He froze. He knew very well that she could see everything going on in his mind pretty much all the time and that she was aware he had feelings for Blaine but he didn’t know the extent of it.

She seemed to catch on to his dilemma, speaking up before he could try and respond:

“It’s not hard to see, you know. But only a few people can tell the difference between a crush and soul-deep love. I happen to be one of them.”

Kurt swallowed, his throat feeling raw. “I’m in love with him.”

He didn’t look at her when he said it, but that didn’t stop his voice from cracking a little at the end.

“I know.”

They stayed quiet for a while, he knew she was giving him the space to speak, he knew she would be there when he did.

“Sometimes… Sometimes I think m-maybe he…” he took a breath, letting it out sharply, “maybe he feels the same but won’t let himself. Or not letting himself, per say, but not… taking the chance, the risk.”

His voice died out and he paused a moment to try and force the lump in his throat to go down. Rosie stayed still and waited for him to continue.

“There’s something. Something there, something between us and I’m scared that he’ll let it slip because he won’t ignore some stupid hospital rules. I… I know I would ignore everything, to be with him and I’m terrified that he won’t, that he wouldn’t.”

Tears were blinding his vision but he didn’t need to check to know that Rosie was still at his side. So despite the unwanted tears, he pushed through:

“Blaine is different, I don’t know how but I know there’s something about him that’s… different. I probably would sound insane if I even started talking abouthow because trust me, the theories in my head are far from…”

He let the sentence die off, hanging in the unknown.

“His reluctance to… give in goes far beyond hospital rules and it scares me that I don’t know, that I don’t understand what’s holding him back. Maybe he just doesn’t want…”

“Shush, Chekhov. Don’t even finish that sentence.”

Kurt closed his eyes and pursed his lips to try and calm himself. He felt warm tears follow the lines of his face, most falling down to his chin where they would drop over his trembling hands but some trailing down to his shut mouth. They managed to slip through the tight line until he could taste their saltiness.

He finally opened his eyes when he felt a thumb swiping over his damp cheeks. Rosie was looking at him so seriously he stayed perfectly still, waiting for her to perhaps tell him to snap out of it.

“Listen to me carefully. Blaine is special. He’s the kind of person, of soul; you only meet once in your lifetime, if you’re lucky. The rules he referred to aren’t the hospital’s, that’s correct, they’re just… some that he can’t really break.”

Kurt’s mind was spinning, he was confused but dread was sinking through his mind as Rosie forced him to look into her eyes:

“But you are also something special. And the both of you… You found each other and don’t you forget that. I know you’re lost right now, in all this, and I’m so sorry I can’t tell you everything you want to know, but just… trust Blaine, have faith in the two of you.”

He wanted to scream in frustration as the doubt twined with every thought fighting in his mind. Rosie knew, she knew Blaine’s big secret and no amount of reassurance could sooth the fear and confusion battling it out in him.

Kurt felt so young and lost in something he knew was bigger than him and he hated not knowing.

“Ku…”

He didn’t let her finish her question, he got up quickly, ignoring the dizziness and feeling of weakness as he started walking, throwing over his shoulder:

“I’m going to go take a walk, clear my head.”

The second he turned the corner his surroundings hit him at once. He had walked into one of the busiest corridors in that wing; the noise reached his ears in a rush as the world spun on his axis.

He couldn’t handle it so he reached a hand against the wall until it landed on a doorknob, he turned it and rushed inside, not caring where it led. Closing the door with a sharp breath, he let himself fall forward against the wood.

He was going to let himself slip all the way down but a voice came from behind him, startling him back into his own mind.

“You really shouldn’t be here.”

The words could have been harsh and hurting but the voice saying them was soft, causing Kurt to finally look up. He couldn’t hold back the small gasp

The other person in the room, sitting in a hospital bed with his leg suspended in a cast, was the homophobe’s son from the day before.

Kurt felt his throat close up as he flattened himself to the door he had just come through, looking frantically around the room even if consciously he knew they were alone.

He hated feeling weak and he couldn’t help but think that since he’d been in the hospital all he’d been was vulnerable and the defenses he’d fought so hard to build were rendered useless between the sterile white walls

He never thought he’d be the kind of person who would cower away from hatefulness he had dealt with all his life. 

But the room was empty besides from the two of them.

Kurt finally caught himself long enough to notice how worried the boy looked. Nervous, even. Suddenly Kurt found himself curious,

“Um, why not?”

His question felt ridiculous given the situation but he had to know.

“My father, he could come back.”

Kurt swallowed before stepping forward a little, pleased to see the boy didn’t flinch or look weary. So he took another step.

“Where did he go?”

“To dinner with my mom, they were sick of cafeteria food so they went to a restaurant outside the hospital.”

“Are they… Is he coming back here?”

“… I don’t actually know. Maybe not.”

The boy was chewing on his lip, like he was suddenly realizing maybe he was going to be alone for a while.

He spoke again, looking back up at Kurt,

“I’m sorry about yesterday, about what he did, how he treated you.”

Kurt was taken aback, someone so young apologizing for his father’s mistake seemed so unreal yet so familiar to Kurt. He knew what it was like to take on a burden that shouldn’t be yours. Their situations couldn’t be further apart but still, he knew what growing up too fast did.

“You don’t have to…”

“I do, he shouldn’t have… reacted that way.”

Kurt stiffened, whole body tensing as the kid continued.

“Gay people… make him… uncomfortable. Oh! Not that you’re… um, obviously gay or anything, he just… assumed. And reacted like a dick.”

Kurt couldn’t help but snort, trying to cover it up in vain. The boy in the bed smiled at him in response.

“What’s your name?”

“Kurt, what about you?”

“Ham.”

“H…? Ham?”

“Yeah, that’s what people call me.”

Kurt settled in one of the light blue plastic chairs near the bed.

“Is there a particular reason why people call you “Ham”?”

“Um… No, not really. My name is Hank and I guess it changed a little…”

Kurt smiled.

“How old are you?”

“I’m turning thirteen tomorrow.”

Hank looked down at his hands, mouth twisting around along with his fingers, nervous ticks.

“Aren’t you excited?”

“Well, my parents were going to throw me a party, but when I broke my leg I thought I’d get out of it. Turns out they’re bringing the party here.”

Kurt frowned, ‘Ham’ looked so worried and almost distraught at the thought.

“Everyone from my class will be there. As well as my parents.”

Understanding slowly started to tickle Kurt’s senses.

“You’re having trouble at school. And your parents don’t know.”

“They can’t know.”

Kurt breathed in through his nose sharply, realization finally hitting him right where it hurt.

“Because then you’d have to tell them why.”

“Yep. I’m sure you can guess that telling them their son is a queer wouldn’t go over so well.”

Jaw clenched, Kurt took Hank’s hand and forced him to look his way.

“Don’t call yourself that. Not the way you are, not the way you’ve heard it.”

Ham tore his hand back, anger flashing in his teary eyes.

“It’s what I am.”

Kurt almost leaned back at the venom he heard in the boy’s words, the same one he had heard in his father’s the day before.

“You’re gay, not-”

“Shut up!”

“There’s noth-”

“Oh, don’t you dare! I’m not like you! I don’t want to be this… thing!”

Kurt felt his stomach roll painfully at the hatred for himself in Hank’s words and mind.

“You can’t choose who you are but you can choose not to hate it. Not to hate that part of you.”

“Why? Everyone else seems to.”

“No o…”

“Get out.”

Kurt paused, throat going dry.

“What…”

“Get. Out.”

Hank wasn’t looking at him but the anger rolling off him was enough to make Kurt get up. His mind was spinning as he pulled the door open the slightest bit. But he didn’t leave, he couldn’t.

“What about love?”

Hank didn’t say anything for a while, the silence stretching out around them and Kurt knew that technique, he was trying not to cry.

“How can it be love if it’s between two fa… guys.”

The sting was enough for Kurt to pause, still clutching the handle.

“I was like you before, you know. It took me the longest time to accept myself and what I was because everyone pretty much knew before me and made sure I would hate it. Hate who I was, am.”

“… So how did you…?

“Learn to ignore the preset hatred?”

“… Yeah.”

“It wasn’t easy, it took longer than I care to admit.”

Kurt shrugged, looking for the right words without mentioning his father’s support and finding Glee club.

“I guess I just found the strength I needed and realized They didn’t matter in the long run, but I did.”

“Do you regret it?”

“What?”

“Giving in… Accepting it?”

“No. There’s nothing to regret, it’s just who I am.”

“If… If you could change it, would you?”

Kurt didn’t take a moment to think about it, the answer clear already.

“No.”

“Why not?”

Hank had whispered the question, like he was afraid of the answer.

“Because I’m love.”

Kurt didn’t need to let Hank know that had only been recently.

“What’s his name?”

Kurt smiled, he had heard the curiosity and wonder in his voice, it was small and slightly scared but it was there.

“Blaine.”

The smile grew at the sound of his name and when Kurt finally turned around he saw that Hank was also smiling, albeit timidly.

“How’s the sex?’

Kurt choked, his face had gone red and his heart sped up.

“I…”

Hank was smirking, obviously satisfied with Kurt’s reaction.

“I’m gonna… I’m just going to go, now. Yeah.”

Fumbling over his words as well as his feet, Kurt managed to get through the door, closing it behind him before rubbing his hands over his face, feeling how hot his skin was. He could have only imaged how red his cheeks must have been.

 

>>>>>>>

 

Finn Hudson was not a man of many words; he chose to express himself with actions, firmly believing they spoke louder than well thought-out sentences.

Like a smile. A smile could make everything and everyone feel better. It had taken him years to perfect his smile, it was a style, a way of communication and he played it like a tool. He had always been very proud of his smile.

He knew how to alter its intensity and lopsidedness depending on the gravity of the situation or how badly he had messed up or even who he was dealing with.

Action. Doing. That was his system. When presented with the chance, he liked doing things for people so that he had something to use if ever he screwed something up. So when opportunity struck, he took it.

He had been looking for the hot nurse who had the night shift in Burt’s wing when he noticed Kurt stumbling away from the nurse’s station Finn was heading to, he may be a little bit oblivious when it came to basic human emotions but he even he could see how distraught Kurt seemed.

Worried, he followed Kurt, trying to decide which would be best: checking up on him in person or checking up on him from afar. Finn shrugged, either-or he was being a good brother.

So he stayed back, trying to figure out what was wrong from Kurt’s appearance. He was pale, then again he usually was… but this seemed a little worse than usual.

He looked lost and overwhelmed. Finn knew that look well but it was so strange seeing it on Kurt.

For a moment Finn got distracted by the wall of posters he was leaning on, spying on Kurt from around the corner. He realized they weren’t posters, which would have been odd, but rather ads for medication and treatments.

He was just about to start questioning the state of his white-cell count when he heard Kurt’s sharp gasp. Looking up just in time to see him stagger into a random room.

Finn followed quickly, berating himself for getting sidetracked. He stopped in front of the door, looking around for any onlookers before leaning against it, banging his head a little on the metal door-opening contraction, before finally being able to press his ear against it.

He couldn’t hear a single thing.

Frowning he leaned back, he saw the temporary patient sign on the door, snickering a little at the name “Hank”, he decided to wait it out.

For the longest time he debated going back towards the wall of signs because he was pretty sure he could have about four or five of the diseases discussed on all the colorful affiches but he was brought back to his current situation when he heard voices raise behind the door.

He was just about to burst in and save the day when he saw the patient information form attached to the door again. He was twelve. Finn frowned, confused as to why Kurt was in this kid’s room having a discussion going beyond “sorry I stumbled into your room, bro”.

Finn smirked fondly, he knew Kurt would never use the word “bro”. He’d probably say “sir” or ask for the kid’s name.

He had just started puffing out one cheek after the other in boredom when the door opened a bit. Catching himself on the wall next to it before he fell, he straightened up quickly, ready to be a good brother or something.

But everything died in his throat when he heard Kurt on the other side of the wall.

“What about love?”

He sounded… broken. Finn’s jaw clenched, he had no idea what was going on but however old the kid in the bed was he was going to get pummelled if he was the reason Kurt sounded like that.

A second voice spoke out; Finn was surprised by how vulnerable it sounded, especially with the smallest tinge of disgust laced in the words.

“How can it be love if it’s between two fa… guys.”

Finn Hudson wasn’t good with words but even he could hear the double layers to the conversation.

So, he leaned against the wall and listened, brow furrowing as he heard Kurt talk about being hated for who he was and taking time accepting himself.

Finn smiled a little, it was hard to hear all this, especially since he didn’t know Kurt had ever had doubts about himself or had his strength fail him, even for a moment. But it was amazing hearing his determination and his fierceness. A word Kurt himself had taught him.

By then Finn had pretty much figured out the kid Kurt was talking to was either gay or questioning. Finn wondered what scared the boy so much about being into dudes.

“If… If you could change it, would you?”

Before Finn could even wonder if Kurt ever did, other than that one week their sophomore year, he heard the answer, clear and direct.

“No.”

Finn pumped his fist up, whispering a proud “yeah!” before schooling himself.

“Why not?”

Finn expected Kurt to talk about the importance of social equality or something, but instead his eyebrows hit the top of his head when he heard Kurt’s answer.

“Because I’m in love.”

After being confused for a moment, he realize: Plaine. It had to be that Plaine guy.

The kid behind the door asked for his name and Finn frowned at Kurt saying Plaine’s name wrong, maybe he was trying to keep his anonymity. “Blaine” didn’t sound remotely real or believable, though.

He was mid-shrug when he heard the next question:

“How’s the sex?”

Finn almost slipped down the wall.

Kurt was saying goodbye by the time Finn had stopped puffing out his cheeks in awkward embarrassment.

The door fully opened and Kurt stepped out, eyes closed and face completely red.

Finn took a moment to smirk a little before quickly slipping ungracefully into the room Kurt had just left. Spur of the moment decision. He was going to talk to Kurt later, but first he had to get some more answers.

Ignoring the boy, who must have been Hank, asking him who the hell he was, Finn watched Kurt walk off before leaving the room, leaving a confused as hell kid behind.

Finn took off down the corridor, thoughts jumbling about in his mind as he walked around, not knowing where he was going.

He may have been a little daft at times but he could sometimes see and know things others ignored.

He had to find Ethlaine. He was going to be a damn good brother and make sure he was good and cool to Kurt.

It didn’t take long before he found the short smiley dude that his brother was apparently in love with.

Finn grabbed his arm and dragged him off to a place free of people.

Ethlaine looked confused and maybe a little irritated at being pulled away from his work but he still smiled up at Finn when they finally came to a stop.

“You’re an angel.”

The smile dropped. Panic flitted over his face and Finn was impressed at how quickly it was gone and he was smiling again, trying to play it off as nothing.

“Finn, are you alright? Did you hit your head against something?”

“No! Well, yes, but that’s irrelevant. Don’t try and confuse me! I know what you are.”

“Um… Finn, I think you need to lie down or something because you’re not making any sense.”

“Look, Retlaine, if you want to date my brother you better start being honest with me. Cut the crap.”

He could see the doubt in his face but he knew he had hit something because Walaine’s jaw had clenched at the mention of Kurt.

“What makes you think I’m anything other than ordinary?”

Smart bastard. Finn smirked, he owned this situation.

“You’re an angel. I’ve played enough computer games to see the symptoms and whatnot. I’m an expert at figuring what kind of creature things are.”

“…What?”

“I just know how to determine what kind of dude people are. And you, McGel, are an Angel. I doubted for a while between angel or grim reaper but then I watched you sleep.”

“You… you watched me sleep?”

“Yeah, you looked all peaceful and shit but your ring-thing gave you away.”

“I…”

“It glowed, bro. Glowed. Full-on glowyness.”

“So this makes you think I’m an angel.”

He was still trying to play it off as nothing but Finn knew better. He had him.

“Look, there’s no need playing that ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ card with me, what I do know is that you and my brother are… something I don’t want to discuss in details but other than that I’m betting he doesn’t know the truth, correct?”

There was a small moment of doubt before he answered.

“Correct. But…”

“Uh uh, no ‘buts’, of any kind, please. I’m cool with you two being crazy love birds but you need to tell him. Everything. Look, I’ve been forced to watch enough cheesy movies to know that a secret like that tends to mess things up big time. So I’m… um, putting my foot down? Yeah, I’m putting my foot down and that means you have no choice. Either you tell him, or I will. Or something.”

“Fine.”

“F… Fine?”

“On one condition.”

“Is this a trap?”

“You learn my real name.”

“Oh god it’s not some weird-ass long, bible, latin name, is it?”

“…No. It’s Blaine.”

“Blaine?”

“Yeah, it’s always been Blaine.”

“Your name is Blaine?”

“Yes.”

“You may want to tell Kurt that.”

Finn felt satisfied. He had gotten what he wanted and protected Kurt in the process.

“Um, Finn? Can I go now?”

“Wh..? Oh, yeah, you can go. My duty is done here.”

Blaine frowned a little with a small smile curving at his lips before he turned to leave.

“Wait!”

Finn swallowed, he had one more question but he was doubting his right to even ask it or know the answer. Biting the corner of his mouth, he went for it.

“Do you lo… like Kurt?”

Blaine paused. He didn’t seem reluctant to answer or annoyed but Finn could see something else. Fear. It was fear coming off him in the way he held himself and swimming in his eyes.

“Yes. I love him”

Finn smiled gently, feeling giddy at the prospect of Kurt being happy, even if it was with a dude who could probably spurt wings.

Trla… Blaine smiled the tiniest bit back at him. Before walking away again, he croaked out;

“Give me… a little time, to tell him. I will, I want to and I know he deserves to know but… just, give me a little time.”

Finn nodded calmly, sensing Blaine’s reluctance to trust him. He needed to be reassured and Finn was willing to give him that.

“Sure, bro.”

And with that, Blaine was walking back to where Finn knew he felt useful, the chaos of the hospital. Finn didn’t know much about angels other than what he had unlocked through video games but he had his doubts that Blaine wasn’t a typical one.

For one, he was really short, smiled a bit too often, interacted with humans,flirted and had wings in the shape of bling. A ring? Really?

Finn shook his head, chuckling a little. He was glad Blaine and Kurt had found each other and he was looking forward to being his nosy self until they got together.

He had already planned his ‘finally!’ dance.

 

>>>>>>

 

After leaving Ham’s room, Kurt felt lighter. But he still wasn’t ready to face either Rosie or anyone else.

His mood for wandering was gone and all he wanted was a clear head.

He decided to escape, just for a little bit.

Not knowing where he was going he headed for the first exit. However, before he reached it, he passed the stairs. On a whim, he opened the door and climbed up to the top floor.

It was perfect. He had inadvertently found the perfect place to breathe non-overly clean air without leaving the hospital.

The roof.

It was an unexpected rush, being overwhelmed by the outside world, making him dizzy with it. It felt as if he hadn’t smelled fresh air in years

For a beautiful moment his mind was free and unplagued by worries and responsibilities, either to himself or others.

Even the rain that started falling felt perfect.

By the time he had gone back to the door, he was soaked through, dripping water all the way back down the stairs.

He realized as he shuffled back onto his floor that he was smiling.

The smile faded quickly as he opened the door to the hallway. It was empty. The place was completely quiet.

It was that silence he had learned to dread during his time there. That eerie feeling in the air of something wrong, something bad.

Panic was making its way through him before the door had even clicked shut closed behind him.

He felt dizzy with fear and he didn’t understand why. Maybe it was just him, it was strange having this two days in a row, maybe it was only stepping back within the hospital walls that made him feel that way.

But then he understood. He realized why he had felt so uneasy so quickly.

The warmth.

He felt it, winding itself around every cell. Growing along with his fear.

Blaine appeared around the corner a second later.

Kurt swallowed, he still wanted to rush over to him but he was frozen.

The look on his face was enough for Kurt to stumble forward, air punching out of him.

“Bla…”

Blaine was the one running towards him now, grabbing Kurt by his shoulders and pushing him against the wall. Either trying to keep him standing or getting his focus back, Kurt didn’t know.

The wild and scared lines creasing Blaine’s face had Kurt’s heart beating faster than he could handle not only at the closeness but at the panic flooding through every part of him.

It only took a second after his back hit the cold wall before he broke, fear taking over his mind.

“Blaine! What’s going on? Wha-what happened out there? Blaine, tell me what happened!”

Suddenly he was surrounded by Blaine, arms wrapping themselves around him, holding him tightly and close. Blaine was shaking. Or maybe it was just Kurt trembling enough for the two of them.

“We need to go to your father’s room.”

Kurt could have sworn he felt his heart stop. Right before it started working as fast as his mind. Thoughts reeling, mixing in with the panic and fear of his lifetime. He couldn’t even take the time to notice Blaine letting him go and shaking his shoulders.

“Kurt! Kurt, listen to me!”

He was crying and his vision was almost completely white and blurry but he could still see Blaine near him, still feel his support and it was enough to calm him down for a moment, letting reality trickle back in.

“Blaine.”

Blaine was running his hands over his face, his neck and shoulders, trying to get him back and Kurt could feel it, like a tether back to himself.

“What’s wrong.”

He asked in a broken voice, the word thick in his mouth.

“You just need to come with me.”

“Ok.”

For some reason Kurt couldn’t even fight it, he trusted Blaine despite everything and he would give over the control, if only for just a moment.

Blaine took his hand and pulled him through the hallway. It was still quiet and empty but with Blaine’s fingers laced around his own Kurt felt protected and safe.

Soon enough they reached Burt’s room. Kurt noticed there was no one around it, no noises of panic or anything at all to indicate something bad had happened.

Confused but glad, Kurt rushed over to the door, but Blaine pulled him back, stopping him short.

“…Blaine?”

Blaine looked pained and pale, jaw clenched and worry swimming in his eyes.

“Stay out here. Stay with me.”

Kurt blinked a few times, he didn’t understand what was going on but all he did was squeeze Blaine’s hand and stare through the checkered window at his father.

He looked fine. The same as before. Kurt could see his vitals on the screen near the bed. Everything appeared normal, from what he could tell the colors were normal as well as the speed.

His shoulders fell, relief coming back.

But before he could turn to ask Blaine what was going on, he felt his hand being squeezed.

He barely had time to look down before desperate beeping started up in his father’s room. Kurt looked around, panicked and ready to rush in but Blaine was holding his hand fast, keeping him in place.

Nurses started arriving, all rushing around, yelling things that never made it into Kurt’s senses as he tried to fight Blaine off to get to his father.

“Get off me! Blaine st…”

But Blaine wasn’t letting go, making sure Kurt stayed out of the room. Kurt was thrashing around, trying to get the arms Blaine now had around his torso off of him.

He was so confused and only aware of half of his surroundings, only keeping his eyes on Burt’s heart monitor, watching numbers either rise or fall.

“Stop! Let me go!”

Kurt was shrieking but Blaine wasn’t budging, only holding him tighter.

Suddenly the lines he was watching on the black screen went straight, a single steady beat sounded over the rustle of nurses and doctors. Kurt screamed, tears blurring his vision and air crashing out of him as Blaine held on.

“No! NO!”

Blaine was pulling him away, holding him off the ground and moving away from the room with a fighting Kurt still in his arms.

He felt his feet touch the ground again but large hands were holding him still, Blaine blocking him from seeing the window, from seeing what was going on with his father.

Kurt started hitting, pounding his fists against Blaine’s chest, trying in vain to get around him.

“He’s going to be fine!”

Blaine was screaming at him to listen, to calm down, to stay still but only that one sentence got to him.

He paused, breathing heavily and stared up at Blaine.

At that moment he heard one of the nurses yell out that he was back, he heard from behind Blaine the steady beat of his dad’s heart.

“How did you know?”

Anger was blurring his vision, rushing up to the surface.

“Wh…”

“How did you fucking know?! Why did you bring me here! How did you know! You knew! You goddamn knew and you brought me here and did nothing! You asshole!”

Kurt was shaking, his voice breaking from all the screaming but he was finally cracking.

Blaine looked so earnest and worried but Kurt ignored that, slapping his hands repeatedly over every inch of Blaine he could reach.

“How did you know!”

He was yelling so loudly it rung in his own ears, echoing all around them.

“I suggest you two go somewhere private to discuss this.”

Kurt turned around, frowning as he stared at a tall man with brown hair, mocking eyes and a voice he recognized. Kurt gasped as dark grey flashes invaded his vision for just a second.

He barely noticed being pulled away by this stranger dressed in a lighter shade of grey than the one clouding his eyesight. Kurt stumbled after him, feelingmore than seeing Blaine follow them.

When he opened his eyes again they were in an empty office.

He ignored the guy in the grey in favor of looking at Blaine.

Kurt wanted to roll into a ball and vanish, he wanted the weight on his shoulders to go away and free him, he wanted his father to be alright. He wanted so many things. But there was only one thing he needed.

“How did you know?”

He asked so quietly, feeling the words settle around them, heavy with so much more than four words.

“Kurt… I…”

“Tell me. Tell me or I’m done.”

“Oh, how very dramatic.”

Kurt’s head snapped to the other man in the room, mouth falling open at his smirking face.

“Sebastian.”

Kurt had never heard Blaine sound so angry.

“What? You sure know how to pick ‘em. Could you have ever chosen a more dramatic person?”

Furious, Kurt was ready to punch the asshole apparently named Sebastian, but Blaine beat him to it. Ridiculously fast he had him against the desk, gripping his collar.

Sebastian only laughed.

“Ha! Oh look, teeny weeny Blaine is getting defensive, like the good little bitch he is.”

Kurt watched, mouth open, as Blaine’s jaw clenched, fingers shaking as he held Sebastian against the dark wood of the desk.

“Well, go ahead, Blainey boy, tell him.”

Kurt paused. Looking from Sebastian’s smirking face to Blaine’s. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he asked,

“Tell me what?”

Blaine’s gaze drifted over to him, immediately back to its deep and passionate self.

“Kurt…”

“Oh, come on! Are you really that pathetic!? Just tell the Toy already.”

“Shut up, Sebastian!”

Kurt was surprised at his own voice ringing out in the office but the effect was instantaneous.

Blaine looked back at Sebastian for a moment before staring at Kurt intensely.

Before he could open his mouth, Sebastian spoke again, his voice harsh, cold and echoing.

“He’s an Angel.”

The way it was said was so clear and sharp Kurt couldn’t even ask ‘what’because he somehow knew it was the truth.

Blaine let go of him, turning to Kurt. The fear and desperation in his eyes broke Kurt’s heart. Especially when tears leaked out of them.

Kurt could feel the intensity of the situation, the thickness of it grabbing hold of his throat.

It all made sense but Kurt was more confused than ever.

“You… you knew what was going to happen with my father because you’re an Angel.”

It wasn’t a question; he just had to say it out loud.

“You knew and yet you brought me to watch, you… this whole time, you’ve done nothing but lie to me when you’re this… an Angel! A freaking Angel! I fell in lov… an Angel.”

Kurt’s voice died out, mind spinning out of control.

He had to take a break, he felt weak and pathetic but he needed a moment away.

“I’m gonna…”

Without another word he stumbled out and went back the way Blaine had brought him, heading for the stairs.

He couldn’t look back, either at Blaine or at his father’s room.

His world was tilting upside down and everything, yet nothing, was making sense.

Finding out the truth did not bring the relief he was seeking. Only confusion and a greater feeling of loss and fear of the unknown.

Angels weren’t supposed to be real. They weren’t supposed to be nineteen year old boys he fell head over heels in love with.

By the time he reached the stairs to the roof again, the pain of separation was hitting him full-force, making him fall forward, reaching the first wall he could to slip down.

He wanted to go on the roof but the wall was cold and everything was hurting, so he brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head against them. It had been a long while since he’d done that.

For a moment he tried to sort through the battle going on in his mind. He weeded out his biggest emotion.

Fear.

Not just scared of what this all meant, what it all could mean, but fear of losing Blaine, losing love to something much worse than he could have anticipated.

Suddenly the rules that were standing between them before were so much bigger.

Kurt wanted to hate himself for thinking only of that, especially after everything, but he wouldn’t do that to himself. No matter what happened, he and Blaine were still something beyond the possible, so of course the thing between them was just that.

“Hey.”

Kurt looked up, a small part of him hoping it would be Blaine standing there even if he wasn’t sure he would be ready to handle it yet. Finn was standing in front of him, awkwardly shuffling on his feet. The familiarity made Kurt smile.

“Hey back.”

That was all it took before Finn was sliding down the wall to settle next to him. Kurt let himself slump against him, it felt nice even if no one would ever bring him as much warmth and comfort as Blaine. The thought made him clench his eyes shut.

“So. I’m assuming you know now.”

Kurt’s eyes burst open. He leaned back, looking at Finn’s frowning face.

‘Wh… Wait, you knew?”

“That Blaine was an Angel? Yeah, figured it out a few weeks ago, confirmed it today.”

Kurt was gaping at him, trying to make sense of it in his mind but coming up short.

“Finn, ho…?”

“Don’t you worry about that. What matters is that you know now. I guess this is the part where you make a decision. Or something.”

Kurt couldn’t help but smile at Finn’s fumbling, noticing his heart feel lighter.

“Love him or leave him?”

He said it as a half-joke but when Finn nodded he looked away for a moment, sucking in his bottom lip and closing his eyes.

“Too much, eh?”

“Little bit, yeah.”

“You love him.”

Kurt opened his eyes again, still looking straight ahead.

“Yes.”

No matter how many times he said it either to himself or out-loud it still caused an insane swooping in his body, from his blood to his heart to his toes.

“Are you scared?”

Kurt didn’t question the sudden wisdom Finn was showing, only appreciating the moment of honesty in what felt like his crumbled world.

“Yes.”

“Could you live with it? With knowing… what he is?”

“Yes.”

Something tightened in his stomach at how quickly and automatically he answered. There was no moment of hesitation.

“Do you think he loves you?”

“I…”

Fluttering doubt made his eyes close once more.

“I don’t want to ruin some future moment between you two, but he does.”

Kurt finally turned to Finn. Feeling the poisonous doubt die out as he saw his face.

“He loves me.”

“We established that, yes.”

Kurt pushed at his shoulder a little.

“Shut up.”

“Kurt, do you know what this means? Did you talk to him?”

“I… No. I ran away.”

Finn nodded, it looked frighteningly wise.

“You should talk to him.”

“I know.”

“But you’re scared.”

“Ye…”

“How do you think he feels?”

It was a low blow, but Kurt was grateful for it. Finn was only giving him the push he needed.

“This whole time… the whole pushing me away, was it only because I didn’t, or couldn’t, know his secret? Now that… I know, will it change? Or was it more than that. Rules.”

He had answered his own question before he had finished it.

“I don’t know. But yeah, you may need to prepare for that possibility. Angels and humans… they aren’t supposed to mingle.”

Kurt got up, he felt shaky and tired but he didn’t care. He had to see this through, he had to see Blaine and figure things out.

“How’s Burt?”

It felt like they had lived this before, many times, in fact. Kurt asking Finn about his… their father, since he seemed to have ears all around the hospital.

“He crashed. That’s the term they use, crashing. But he’s stable again. The doctors don’t know what this will mean for later, but if he doesn’t wake up soon it’s gonna get worse.”

“Alright.”

Biting the inside of his cheek to not cry, Kurt headed away. He had no idea how he was going to find Blaine but he needed to.

He walked straight and far, half to get away from everything and half to find either something to distract him or Blaine. It would be so much simpler if he could turn a corner and find him.

Instead, he walked straight into Sebastian.

Kurt froze, a mix fear and anger bubbling up in a rush as he stepped back.

Sebastian’s hard gaze turned sinister for a moment before he was suddenly smiling at him. Kurt could almost feel the viciousness crawl over his skin in a cold wave making him take another step back.

“This is just perfect.”

Kurt’s eyes widened as Sebastian’s voice ran over him, leaving flashes of dark, dirty grey in his vision as he helplessly watched Sebastian grab his wrist and drag him back the way he came.

The cold from the ring Sebastian also possessed seared into his skin like poison, making his vision blur and steps falter in their haste to stale or stop or deter them.

Instead he found himself being easily led down what seemed to be a spinning hallway. His voice and screams were frozen in his throat, panic keeping them there like a trap.

“Wh… No, let me g…”

Sebastian stopped suddenly, violently pulling Kurt to him to hiss in his ear.

“If they’re going to give him what I want, then I will destroy what he wants.”

Kurt’s head was pounding, confusion being overridden by understanding as he tried to fight his way out of Sebastian’s grip which only tightened.

He was what Blaine wanted. Kurt was the thing Sebastian wanted to destroy. But what had Blaine stolen or taken from Sebastian?

It was then that he realized where he was being led. His own room. The doctor’s lounge where all his stuff was. Where Blaine was.

Kurt still couldn’t see clearly but he didn’t have to, he could feel Blaine. He wanted to say his name, to run over to him but the hands holding him away weren’t relenting.

But then he heard it.

“This is your choice, Blaine.”

The voice was unfamiliar but Kurt still felt a chill run over him, leaving his skin cold and breathing shallow. Something was wrong.

“How long do I have left to decide?”

Blaine’s voice. It sounded wrong… Harsh and clipped.

“This is no longer a ‘think about it’ situation. You either accept now or lose it all. We gave you enough time.”

Kurt frowned, he could barely make out two figures in front of him but their words were reaching him just fine. It was the meaning behind them that wasn’t.

“You’re offering me more than a promotion.”

“Clearly. We’re giving you the chance to leave this wretched place, become one of the Highers. You would have more power, you would be able to stay in the Skies. It’s either that or you stay stuck here. Without any power.”

Kurt couldn’t feel anything, the dread hitting him all at once, replacing the feeling in every extremity. He tried to say ‘no’ but he couldn’t move his limbs or do anything but watch.

“This was supposed to be Sebastian’s offer. He’s the one who was going to be promoted.” Blaine seemed to be stalling but Kurt didn’t know if that was only wishful thinking on his part.

“Sebastian can wait his turn. He may never be strong enough to be given this opportunity.”

Kurt barely felt Sebastian’s nails dig into his skin; he barely heard the low snarl near his ear. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, letting his eyes slip closed and feeling his head drop forward.

Panic starting to make its way to his heart and gripping his throat.

“I accept.”

Kurt fell forward, knees hitting the ground hard but he couldn’t feel anything, barely hearing his own scream or the sound of Sebastian yelling angrily next to him.

Blaine had turned around, finally looking at Kurt but he didn’t have time to register his face before a huge flash of white filled the space around them, blinding Kurt, forcing him to crawl out of the room.

Ignoring the tears running down his face, Kurt stumbled up and walked away, heading to the main floor. He ignored the nurses he crossed, pushing away their questioning hands and barely hearing their demands as he rushed passed them.

Finally, he reached the bathroom near the waiting room and waiting no time as he slipped inside and locked the door.

He turned around in the dark familiar room and tried to take a step forward, only sending him falling to the ground. Breathing heavily and trying to ignore the pain in the wrist he fell on, Kurt rolled himself up, wrapping his arms around his knees.

He felt small and weak and broken. Three things he had never wanted to feel again.

Kurt closed his eyes. He wanted to sleep until the pain in his chest went away but he knew he couldn’t. Especially when he felt his phone vibrate repeatedly in his pocket.

Without checking what it was, Kurt forcibly picked himself up off the cold tile and headed out. He had no idea how long he had stayed in there but it didn’t matter. He felt numb but not enough to have his worries for his father disappear.

So he went back, ignoring the shake in his hands as he walked towards his father’s room.

It took awhile for him to finally leave his own mind long enough to see the people hustling around the door. It took someone almost shoving into him for the sound to come back to his ears.

His father’s laugh.

He heard it, clear as anything he had even felt. His knees almost buckled as he ran forward, turning into the room, almost making a nurse fall over in his haste to see if it was real.

“Dad.”

And he was there, awake and smiling at him and Kurt was crying again, body shaking as he stepped over to his father’s bed. He took his hand in his and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his senses.

With his eyes closed Kurt laughed and raised his head, letting it fall back for a second before letting his eyes slip open again.

He froze.

The air rushed out of him as his ears filled with white noise, the sight in front of him making him sway on his feet.

Blaine was there.

Blaine was standing there with a small smile, his body surrounded by huge, white wings. Kurt had never seen anything as beautiful.

They were graceful and magnificent, taking up half the room. Kurt felt overwhelmed and yet at peace. The power they had on him was intense, just like Blaine. Their eyes met and Kurt felt something tighten in his chest. He knew then that he was the only one who could see them.

He wanted to say so much out loud, he wanted to run into his arms and feel what it would be like to be surrounded by Angel’s wings, but he had heard Blaine’s choice.

Blaine seemed to see the moment he pulled away, quickly joining him on the other side of the bed in the room, Kurt noticed, that had frozen in time.

Because Blaine could do that. Blaine had the power. Just like he had the power to cure his father.

“Oh, my god.”

Blaine was in front of him now, carefully reaching out his hand to take Kurt’s.

Kurt let his gaze drift over the wings. They were like light and shadows, blending into the atmosphere like air but still glowing around them. Kurt realized they were what he saw every time Blaine went away. The white flashes.

Blaine led him out of the room, holding his hand with a soft grip as he brought them in the equally frozen hallway.

Kurt laughed as he saw every nurse and doctor stilled in their movement. Knowing that he and Blaine were the only two people moving in that moment made everything so much more real.

“Kurt.”

He looked back to him, smiling at the fear in Blaine’s eyes; it reminded him that he wasn’t alone in this.

“You saved him.”

Blaine nodded. “I had to.”

“What’s going to happen now?”

“I’m not allowed to interfere. I have a power I can’t use and I did.”

Kurt was scared to find out what that meant, but for now it was just them in a frozen world.

“That’s why you accepted…”

“Yes.”

Kurt swallowed thickly, reality still managing to reach him through their safety net.

“Kurt.” Blaine repeated, taking another step forward, bringing them closer.

“T-tell me what’s going to hap…”

But Kurt didn’t get to finish that thought as he felt hands cup his face and pull him against Blaine.

He barely had time to breathe in before feeling lips on his. It was like fire and ice crashing through him leaving him already breathless yet desperate for more. He couldn’t stop shaking as he wrapped his arms around Blaine, trying as best he could to pull him closer.

This beat any fantasy, any dream he ever could have ever had. The feeling of Blaine’s mouth against his was more than he could handle. But that didn’t stop him from kissing back with as much fever as he could muster. He was trembling as he felt one of Blaine’s hands slip down his neck and shoulder to wrap around his waist, applying pressure to seal them closer.

Kurt moved his mouth under his, feeling his heart beat against the press of Blaine’s skin. He couldn’t catch his breath even as he pulled back for an instant.

Everything was spinning and the air felt thick. He knew the crash would come so he kept diving forward, kissing Blaine over and over, letting his mouth open under his like a desperate man. Leaning up on his toes and grabbing at his shirt and neck and hair with shaking hands.

He didn’t want to let go and Blaine didn’t seem to want to either but soon the lack of air had Kurt feeling too dizzy. So he reluctantly detached his lips, still staying impossibly close so he could feel Blaine’s frantic breath against his lips.

Kurt felt tingly and high and shaky but safe and alive.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, voice hoarse against Blaine, fingers skating over his face, almost trying to memorize his face as he kissed him again with everything he had. Closing his eyes and shakily breathing in through his nose before stepping back a little.

Blaine’s forehead was creased, his cheeks flushed and lips red and swollen. He looked frantic in the way he tried to keep Kurt there even though he knew he wasn’t going away.

“I love you.” His voice sounded broken and Kurt felt it pierce through him, because this could only mean one thing. “I love you.”

“Blaine.” And Kurt was kissing him again, short, rushed pecks as he cried against him because he had noticed the world moving around them again. He had felt Blaine’s ring start burning against his cheek, the pain making his vision flood with light spots.

It was melting, Blaine’s ring, his wings, he was losing them and Kurt knew there was nothing he could do so he held on, his hands wrapping around Blaine’s neck so he could keep his face as close as possible.

Blaine was starting to stumble but Kurt kept him up, still pressing their lips together to distract him from the pain because he could feel the tremors in Blaine’s body and he could almost feel it, too.

“I love you.” Blaine mumbled, his eyes closing and knees buckling.

“No!” Kurt fell with him, trying to get his attention back on him, holding his face in his hands as he shook him. “No, don’t you dare! No!”

Blaine’s eyes could barely stay open anymore, tears leaking out to slip between Kurt’s fingers.

Blaine’s hand on his cheek slipped from Kurt’s face, the ring leaving a burning trail down his face making him yell out against Blaine’s temple, but he held Blaine close, ignoring his own pain to keep Blaine against him.

The wings that had been surrounding them were falling in a halo around them, white flames making their way through the feathers like poison.

“Blaine! Blaine!” Kurt was screaming, his hands grabbing at him frantically, but he wasn’t moving. The wing and the ring were gone, burned away, taking Blaine with them.

“No… please, no.” Kurt couldn’t see through his tears but he was still trying to get Blaine to look up at him. “Please…”

“He’s dead.”

Kurt’s head snapped up, recognizing Sebastian’s voice. Kurt was about to start screaming at him but he stopped when he saw how broken Sebastian looked, slumped against the wall, eyes empty and downcast.

“We’re Angels,” He continued, sounding as awful as Kurt felt, “If we lose our wings… we die.”

Kurt let out a sob. He knew, but hearing it was even worse.

Sebastian just kept talking and Kurt let him, this was his way of dealing.

“He healed a human and then signed his death warrant by kissing his soulmate. He gave up his wings for love. By falling for you, you set him free.”

Kurt smiled sadly, running a hand through Blaine’s hair, trying to stay together for just a little longer.

“I guess he really was more human than Angel…”

Kurt frowned, looking back up to Sebastian. He didn’t understand why but his heart had started beating faster. His mind was going haywire with thoughts fighting each other, either he was having a breakdown or something was coming together in his head.

“So… Angel’s aren’t… human?”

“We’re dead. So, no. Our wings are our life.”

Kurt swallowed, he was missing a final piece of something big.

But before he could figure it out he felt Blaine’s gasp under the palm he had on his chest as Blaine breathed in violently, arms moving around in shock as Kurt stared down at him.

Kurt was crying so hard he could barely see clearly enough to hold Blaine to him in a desperate hug, either trying to keep Blaine calm or himself, he didn’t know.

“You’re still human! You’re alive, oh god, Blaine!”

He didn’t know why he had to say it out loud, maybe to convince himself that it was real, that Blaine was there.

Kurt looked up to Sebastian who looked as shocked as Kurt, maybe not as relieved as him but still happy.

Blaine was finally regaining his breath, his eyes were wide, almost as if he himself wasn’t expecting to be alive. But he was and that’s all Kurt cared about.

“You’re here, you’re safe. Blaine, you’re alright. You’re alive.”

He knew he sounded ridiculous, but repeating it over and over was the only way he could deal in that moment. He was running his fingers all over Blaine’s face, letting his hands map out his features and feel him breathing under his palms.

Blaine smiled up at him, almost as if this was just a moment between them and not a miracle. He grabbed Kurt’s hand and kissed it, helping Kurt along with his proofing that he was in fact, still alive.

“I’m here,” he croaked out at him, causing Kurt to laugh and let his head be led down so he could kiss Blaine.

“You’re here,” Kurt laughed against his lips, feeling ridiculously giddy and weightless. “I love you.”

Blaine’s smile grew bigger and brighter. “I love you, too.”

“This is just so freaking unreal,” Sebastian groaned from behind them, but even Kurt could hear a small smile behind his biting words. “You two are just gross.”

Kurt watched with a smirk as Sebastian got up and left, turning his gaze back to Blaine to find him already staring. Kurt bit his lip, trying to stop the wide spread of his smile but Blaine brought a hand up to cup his chin, almost telling him to let himself be that happy.

“You’re alive.” Kurt whispered, like it was a fragile reality that could possibly crumble at any time.

Blaine sat up a little more so he could cup both of Kurt’s cheeks and look straight at him,

“I’m alive and I’m yours. Kurt… there’s nothing between us anymore, no holier-than-thou rules we can’t beat. No Angels with cold souls or bosses or… anything.”

“You’re human.”

“I’m human. I get to grow old. I get to feel things, from pain to love. I get to make mistakes and do great things. And… I get to do it all with you. You are my future, you’re my life, my humanity, my love. You set me free, Kurt.”

“Because you fell for me?”

Blaine laughed and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “Because I fell for you.”

“So, soulmates eh?” Kurt wondered aloud, pretending not to notice how fast his heart was beating.

“So I’m told.”

“That works for me.” Before Blaine could even see him blush or feel it under his palms Kurt leaned closer and kissed him. It was like a promise, a promise that this was real, that this was their reality.

“Are you going to miss… it?” Kurt asked quietly, his lips still lingering on Blaine’s.

“What? Having wings?”

Kurt giggled before he could help himself. “Yeah, that.”

Blaine leaned back a little to look at his hand, still placed on Kurt’s cheek. He moved his now ringless finger against the warm skin, noticing how there was nothing cold there to make Kurt shiver, only his touch.

“No. I get to help people now, to do some good without the threat of losing everything hanging over my head. I get to be with you.”

Blaine was the one blushing now and Kurt scrunched up his nose before wrapping his arms around his neck and settling in his lap so he could kiss him sweetly.

It felt nice knowing Blaine wasn’t going to regret his decision, being assured that Kurt didn’t cause him to lose anything he could miss. That it had all been worth it.

And it was. For Kurt as well.

He felt like his whole life had a meaning and despite how ridiculous it was to even think it, that it was finding Blaine, becoming the person Blaine made him turn into. To find faith in love and life again. To find faith in himself as well.

Blaine had also set him free and Kurt was more than willing to let it happen. Letthem happen. Because he wasn’t scared anymore. The risks would always be there as well as the fear, but so would Blaine.

 

~-~-~

 

The metal felt warm between his fingers, he didn’t feel nervous in the least but it was nice to have something to fiddle with while Sam talked about love andforever.

He ran his thumb over the smallest indentations, feeling out the curves of words and the smooth carved wings on each side.

He looked down for a moment, watching his finger slide over the silver metal, over the ring he was about to slip on Blaine’s finger. The one that looked similar to one Blaine owned year ago.

But this one was a set of two, with the word soulmates written on the inside, surrounded by graceful wings. Kurt smiled wider before looking back up, meeting Blaine’s grinning face and teary eyes.

Everyone had thought Kurt would be the first to cry at their wedding but Blaine had been the one to break, making Sam pause his ministering for a moment so Blaine could wipe his eyes.

Kurt had laughed and pretended not to notice how misty his own eyes had gotten.

Finn made his small best man speech about how “Kurt and Blaine took ‘falling in love’ to a whole new level”.

They had chosen to exchange vows at the rehearsal dinner since Rosie couldn’t attend the wedding itself and had convinced them to do it for her, so when Sam asked them for their vows they only had one thing to say:

“I promise to catch you when you fall.”

When the time came for them to swap rings Kurt was starting to get teary eyed and everyone laughed when he tried to hide his face in Blaine’s lapel. But he leaned back and looked straight at Blaine as they slid the rings on.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband, you may now ki… never mind.”

Kurt already had his arms around Blaine’s waist as they kissed between their huge grins in front of all their friends and the family Blaine had grown to think of his own over the years.

Blaine brought his hands from around Kurt’s neck to grab onto his suit to deepen the kiss for a moment before separating when Santana yelled something about getting a room.

They linked their hands together, feeling their rings almost slide against each other as they walked down the aisle among their laughing friends.

Blaine leaned into Kurt and Kurt used the opportunity to whisper in his ear, “I love you, angel.” causing Blaine to snort at him before kissing his cheek.

“I love you too, brat.” He mumbled before pulling Kurt forward along the path.

When they finally reached the roof of the building, everyone they knew were waiting for them, all having gotten there faster than them. They hugged and laughed and mingled, always keeping two fingers linked between them.

Kurt got to meet Ham’s new boyfriend and hear about Santana’s Chicago takeover, he got to see Finn pick Blaine right off the ground in a huge bear hug and Carol discreetly hand Burt a tissue so he could wipe his eyes and blow his nose.

Mid-conversation with Sam, Blaine came up to them and asked to borrow his “husband” for a moment. Sam smirked and bowed out, letting Blaine take Kurt’s hands and lead them towards the ledge of the skyscraper.

Kurt insisted on being the standing-up-little-spoon as he settled in Blaine’s arms, forcing them to wrap around him as Blaine giggled into his neck, tightening his hold and nuzzling closer.

“We’re married,” Blaine whispered against him. Sharing it with him like a secret mumbled into his skin.

Kurt smiled, moving his hand so he could place it on top of Blaine’s, feeling the cool metal against his fingers.

“You’re thinking something cheesy.” Kurt smirked.

“How did you…”

“When you go quiet like that it’s either something dirty or cheesy running through your head.”

Blaine bumped against him and Kurt laughed and turned around in his arms.

“I was just going to say… that these,” he motioned to the rings, “May not be real wings, but that you… um.”

“That I’m your wings?”

“Shut up,” Blaine mumbled looking up with red tinted cheeks.

Kurt laughed a little before placing a kiss to Blaine’s tilted chin, meeting his lips when he looked back down. “You’re mine too.”

“Wings?”

“Shh.”

Blaine snorted. “Wings or something?”

“Or something. Now shush.”

Blaine stayed silent as Kurt shuffled closer and hugged him tightly. Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest, leaning them against the rail.

“Soulmates,” he whispered after a moment.

“Mm?”

Blaine met Kurt’s eyes, smiling up at him.

“The ‘or something’: soulmates.”

Kurt brought Blaine’s hand up to his lips so he could kiss the ring there.

“Soulmates.”

They chose to ignore Santana’s groan and her ‘Mr and Mr Cheesy McMush mailbox instead of a crockpot as a gift’ comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Anyway, here come my many thanks to all the people who put up with me while I wrote this piece:
> 
> Cass, Charlotte, Cas, Nic, Mal, Melis, Steph, Heidi, Holly, Ariane, Dani, Alice, Addie, Molly, Ellie and Kath. No matter what part you took, you were all there for me and I can’t express how much that meant to me. This fic was not only the biggest thing I took on but also the proof to myself that I could do it. And it’s thanks to all of you and your support that I managed. So thank you.


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